№ 687.1 EXTRA! Copying Xi

Journalists in Chinese state media to be tested on loyalty to President Xi Jinping

About 10,000 reporters and editors in Beijing are expected to take ‘pilot tests’ next month using Xuexi Qiangguo mobile app

Nationwide exams – with sections on Xi’s political thinking and Marxism – will be held later and press cards will only be issued to those who pass

The media oversight office made clear that updated press cards, which are essential for those working in the industry, would only be issued to journalists who had passed the exam. Those who fail will have one chance to take the test again, according to the notice.

MYWAY (September 21)

Now, why couldn't I do something like that

as a way of combating FAKE NEWS?

Reporters, editors (photographers, too!)

would have to adhere to my hues

and stop telling lies with film and transcriptions

of color and words I may say

when it is clear from FOX's depictions

I'm tan and the words were just throw away.

But if I had someone put in a book

all of of my geniusy thinking,

then U.S. enemies (the press and the Dems)

would have, at least, an inkling,

and begin to suspect all of my thoughts

tornado spin. . .barn weather vane. . .

It is a fact, I don't think, I react.

I've got a crocodile brain.

№ 687: Our Beginnings Always Know Our End (however much we try to pretend)

REALITY (September 19)

Everything dies.

All go extinct.

That is the name of the game.

Being born and evolving

are not problem solving.

No one and no thing's to blame.

All come and go.

It's only a show.
That it ends is not
a surprise. Or a blow.

And, like it or not,

there is no plot.

It's just a matter

of “to be or to not?”

(THAT rhetorical question

gave rise to aggression,

poison and swords,

and indiscretion.)

Forget your Scriptures,

lasses and laddies.
Don't waste your breath on

Magic Sky Daddies,

who, imperceivable and undeceivable,

believers believe achieve unachievable.

I think you will find

if you try to be kind,

you might achieve

some peace of mind.

Anyways, most of it's

just in your head.

(And Curly, “the hero”, 

wishes Jud dead.)

№ 686.1: EXTRA! My Way

Trump’s communications with foreign leader are part of whistleblower complaint that spurred standoff between spy chief and Congress, former officials say (Paywall)

Trump’s interaction with the foreign leader included a “promise” that was regarded as so troubling that it prompted an official in the U.S. intelligence community to file a formal whistleblower complaint with the inspector general for the intelligence community. . .

ORTHEHIGHWAY (September 19)

What's this about?
How can this be?
Doesn't the government
work just for me?
Say, I decide
(not that I did)
to tell Kim
something CIA
thinks should be hid.
Wonderful guys
my CIA spies
but they never looked
into Kim's eyes.
Something I think
he needs to know
although the CIA
doesn't think so.
Kim's a good guy.
He is my pal.
He writes me letters
that make smile.

If I tell Vlad
stuff that makes him glad.
How is that bad?
I mean so what
if somebody's shot?
Vlad's a great guy.
I like him a lot.
Very strong leader.
A leader like me.
And don't get me started
on President Xi
to whom I say little
lest he tariff me.

№ 686: Misty Crystal Galls

TOMORROWLAND (September 18)

President Liz?
President Bernie?
President Pete?
Get me a gurney.

President Kamala?
President Julian?
President Cory?
You gotta be foolin'.

President Amy?
President Beto?
President Biden?
“No, you fool Cato!” 

If market is up,
unemployment is down,
prepare, my dear readers:
four more for the clown.

In preparation
for coronation,
America sing,
“Donnie's Я King”.

(A gift from afar
from Vlad the tsar.)

№ 685: Donnie No's Best

Trump plans to revoke a key California environmental power; state officials vow to fight (Paywall)     

WASHINGTON — President Trump is expected Wednesday to revoke a decades-old rule that empowers California to set tougher car emissions standards than those required by the federal government — putting the state and the administration on a path to years of fighting in court.

The move, which has been in the works for much of the last three years, would overturn the foundation for California’s role as an environmental leader in reducing greenhouse gas emissions and improving air quality. By revoking a special waiver the state has relied on for years to set its own standards, the administration will be saying that no state can impose more ambitious pollution controls than those adopted by the federal government.

THESKYISNOTFALLINGANDWHOCARESIFITIS (September 17)

Is Donnie the Chicxulub comet (asteroid?)

reincarnated and now in slow mo?

Devoid of cognition, that outer space visitor 

had a Donnie-like orangy glow

as it dashed through the atmosphere

and crashed in the sea down in Old Mexico.

As Donnie, our ship-of-state gondolier,

steers straight into peril-filled shoals,

we, like the dinosaurs, quickly could disappear,

which is, I guess, how it goes.

Many say Donnie's not a dumb bastard.

Life on this planet was fine. (While it lasted.)

I wish Donnie's followers well.

They will enjoy his hotel in hell.

№ 684: To War Or Not To War (in need of digression)

Trump says US response to oil attack depends on Saudi Arabia's assessment

US secretaries of state and energy both explicitly blamed Iran for the attack but Trump suggests US did not have definitive evidence

...Trump suggested on Monday the US did not have definitive evidence, adding that he would send the secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, to Riyadh to investigate.

GIMME SHELTER (September 16)

Well it could be Iran.

I think I would know.

If anyone can.

But I will find out.

Meanwhile. . .locked and loaded.

If it was Iran, they may have been goaded

by our Allies (the Saudis,

to a man princes).

I will strike back if they can convince me

it won't cost U.S. money

or U.S. lives.

(Fact of the matter, war gives me hives.)

I'm sending Mike P.

(Pompeo, not Pence.)

To see if he can make any sense

of what's going on,

which side are liars,

(to look out for islands in need of buyers),

if our friends (the Saudis)

are willing to pay

all of the costs of this affray.

Trust me, I won't put

the homeland at risk.

But as a precaution, I'm under my desk.

Click
(WARNING: Video accompanying Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter” contains graphic Vietnam war footage. Viewer caution is urged. NOT! KIDDING!)

[updated 9/17/2019 12:02 am]

№ 683: Pot Down

SMOKEGETSINYOUREVYTHING (September 15)

Is America actually “going to pot”?
It depends on the jurisdiction.
It may be in places where it is thought
puffing on weed need not lead to addiction,
where, indeed, it is agreed
Reefer Madness, the movie, is puerile fiction.

Whether or not pot is over the line,
depends where you live, how you define
what is permitted, what is verboten.
(Also in question: who's doin' the votin'.)
While there are many who'd love to stop it,
others'd druther put tax on the profit.