№ 872.1: EXTRA! Donnie's Perfectly Bew-t-ful Crowd Control

NOW AND THEN AND ALWAYS (June 5) —

Time after time:

unrhymed, unreasoned.

Click

№ 872: Tell Me Why (or Walking The Planck)

SOMEWHERE (June 4)  — 

That science advances funeral by funeral

is an intriguing tautology

Though, by itself, it cannot explain

the lack of advance in astrology

and other fields of fuzzy thinking

where practitioners, lacking all inkling

of analysis and methodology,

often fall pray to mindless doxology.

(Looking at you, my dear theologians.

Your hypotheses are, pace, untestable.

Yet you insist your devined doctrines

are not only true, but uncontestable.

Which I find indigestible.)

There also are those who profess economics

which is less scientific than newspaper comics,

all complex equations mixed with evasions

amounting to nothing whatever.

It’s all mumbo jumbo, all smoke and mirrors

lacking consistency, despite changing gears,

with different persuasions for different occasions.

Along with religion, it lives forever,

changing with time to conform to new norms.

(Amazing how nonsense weathers all storms.)

To return to the theme of facts changing minds — 

largely unheard of among [sic] humankind.

It seems sub-optimal, but there must be some WHY

rather than changing, we prefer to die.

Someone would win an MacArthur Grant

if they could explain it. Not ME! I can’t.

Bonus: Unrelated except by title (Click)

№ 871: Letter To The Even Jelly Skulls

ON THE ROAD TO UNMASK US (June 3) —

The United States is not Iran. (That is, it isn't. Yet.)

However, I think it a sure-fire bet

that among you extollers there are holy rollers

who'd eagerly welcome homegrown “ayatollahs”,

who'd make the U.S. a theme park for Christians 

and “tolerate” everyone into submission,

with marriage solely between men and women,

with no abortion, or in-the-nude swimmin',  

where tomfoolery like one-man-one-vote

would be abolished . . . and that's all she wrote.

Where gambling, insurance, and evolution

would not be allowed under Your Constitution,

which, itself, would be, in fact,

reviewed by a Perfected Supreme Court that's packed

with male Bible scholars in clerical collars

paid only in gold, never in dollars,

since in Scripture, gold, myrrh, and incense

are what kings bring Jesus (prepaid recompense?)

for what he'll endure on Earth for the crime

of being born in wrong color-place-time.

(As we, most of us, have been, indeed, after all.

Be born white, rich, and male or don't be born at all.)

But here is a question that to me just occured:

what became of the gold, incense, and myrrh?

Did Joseph and Mary run off to Vegas,

blow the whole wad? Plus his carpenter wages?

There should have been a goodly amount

in the Baby Savior's Bank of Israel account

when, at last, he came of age

and gave up woodwork to work as a sage,

travelling and teaching, preaching full time.

Which local authorities considered a crime.

“Fomenting discord”, he sowed “revolution”

until fitted up with their “final solution”.

That said, however, the question remains

whatever became of his capital gains?

I know you can't think he actually wished

to provide the poor with more loaves and fish.

The “poor”, as you know, are apt to riot

when you provide them an adequate diet.

So where did he spend it? Oh, yes. Of course!

The settlements for his affairs and divorces.

            .   .   .

Sorry. 

I'm old. 

Confused. 

What a chump!

We're talking Jesus, 

NOT Donald Trump.

In my defense, allow me to say,

they're hard to tell apart, anyway.

One of them died for your sins,

the other you bless for his.

            .   .   .

Dearly benighted,

do not get excited

whenever you don't have your way.

It is NOT persecution,

no one needs absolution

when people other than you have a say

about what's forbidden, allowed, or required.

Your overdone dudgeon should be retired.

№ 870: Chicxulub II (local impact)

WORLD'S END (June 2) —

On Wall Street today, the DOW advanced

despite the meteor that destroyed France,

the low countries, Denmark, and Germany,

somewhat disrupting the EU economy.

Sweden and Switzerland said that, as neutrals,

it was their wish to do something useful.

And in the Kremlin, Putin smiled ruefully

saying that Russia would always act “fruitfully”.

In China, Xi said, quoting Mao,

“Europe never mattered that much anyhow.”

The rest of East Asia offered advice

on how many survivors could subsist on rice.

Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan

proposed a joint camel aid caravan.

No one in Africa, from north to south,

paid any heed because of the drought.

In Latin America there were revolutions

but no halt to deforesting or to pollution.

In the Mid East there was a brief pause,

then they went back to their forever wars.

Canadians offered their “deepest sympathy”

and asked what the Queen would take with her tea.

The rest of the world could not care or bother,

concerned with the stuff they do to each other. 

While in DC, Trump remained aloof,

arms crossed, frowning, demanding proof,

tweeting, “I think it is all just a plot

to make me look bad.” (He says that a lot.)

№ 869: A Mix Metaphor

FROM SEA TO DECLINING SEA (June 1) —

America was never a melting pot.

More of a not quite cooked stew

in which ingredients never do mix —

I remain me, you are still you.

Jostle the pot, it all falls apart,

leaving a mess of inedible goo.

№ 868: GOP Crystal Ball

DOWN THE ROAD (May 31) —

If Donnie is anything, he is perfection.

He’s already president, why have an election

with illegal Democrats voting by mail

making it tricky for us to prevail?

Democracy’s great. As many still note.

(Provided, that is, you limit the vote
to those who will make the correct decision,
not all the riff-raff who should be in prison.)

In November, if Donnie's defeated
he will depart with dignified decency.
Of course, if he's forced to declare martial law,
odds of him leaving decrease appreciably.

[updated 6/1/2020, 3:00 pm]