UNDER THE MICROSCOPE (August 1)
People: a resource.
They are good to eat.
But we should not eat them all.
Eating them all could, I think, defeat
our greater purpose. . .
which I cannot recall.
And since I've forgotten,
let's eat 'em. They're rotten,
they serve no purpose at all.
Friday, August 2, 2019
Thursday, August 1, 2019
№ 651: Life On Mars?
MARS (Aquarius 16, 218)
Living on Mars would probably be —
what is the word? — impossible!?
And if we try it, likely we'll find it
is not in the slightest fossil-able.
Later explorers — while also failing —
will find not a trace on Mars detailing
our presence there which proved unavailing.
Mars' population, after migration,
would suffer an excess of radiation.
Mars has so little atmosphere
that the sun's rays there are more severe,
hard on the skin so you have to stay in.
And radiation can cause mutation.
This cosmic bombardment out of proportion
would, therefore, require frequent abortion,
lest born-on-Mars three-headed monsters
return to Earth as human impostors.
Though they could be called related mammalians,
Earthlings might see them as illegal aliens.
For what it's worth, I suggest life on Earth
has evolved to expect “earthy” gravity.
Mars's, I've heard, is about one-third.
Living in that would lead to depravity.
Plus, no doubt, a degree of light-headedness
and, I predict, outrageous indebtedness
due to the cost for Mars's equipping.
Amazon Prime does not offer free-shipping.
And may I allude to the problem of food?
On Mars there are no corner delis.
DoorDash® delivery is out of the question.
Seven months' transit would cause indigestion.
Then there is the problem of time.
Mars sols have extra seconds*.
And a Mars year has many more sols**,
thus mussing up ongoing connections.
Living on Mars is not in our path.
I mean, come on. You can't do the math.
Nor breathe the air there.
There is none to spare there.
These are merely a few of the bars
suggesting we'll never colonize Mars.
Gizmodo.com: Humans Will Never Colonize Mars
————————
*Martian day is 37 Earth minutes longer than Earth's.
**Martian year is 686.98 Earth days or 668.5991 Martian sols.
Living on Mars would probably be —
what is the word? — impossible!?
And if we try it, likely we'll find it
is not in the slightest fossil-able.
Later explorers — while also failing —
will find not a trace on Mars detailing
our presence there which proved unavailing.
Mars' population, after migration,
would suffer an excess of radiation.
Mars has so little atmosphere
that the sun's rays there are more severe,
hard on the skin so you have to stay in.
And radiation can cause mutation.
This cosmic bombardment out of proportion
would, therefore, require frequent abortion,
lest born-on-Mars three-headed monsters
return to Earth as human impostors.
Though they could be called related mammalians,
Earthlings might see them as illegal aliens.
For what it's worth, I suggest life on Earth
has evolved to expect “earthy” gravity.
Mars's, I've heard, is about one-third.
Living in that would lead to depravity.
Plus, no doubt, a degree of light-headedness
and, I predict, outrageous indebtedness
due to the cost for Mars's equipping.
Amazon Prime does not offer free-shipping.
And may I allude to the problem of food?
On Mars there are no corner delis.
DoorDash® delivery is out of the question.
Seven months' transit would cause indigestion.
Then there is the problem of time.
Mars sols have extra seconds*.
And a Mars year has many more sols**,
thus mussing up ongoing connections.
Living on Mars is not in our path.
I mean, come on. You can't do the math.
Nor breathe the air there.
There is none to spare there.
These are merely a few of the bars
suggesting we'll never colonize Mars.
Gizmodo.com: Humans Will Never Colonize Mars
————————
*Martian day is 37 Earth minutes longer than Earth's.
**Martian year is 686.98 Earth days or 668.5991 Martian sols.
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Wednesday, July 31, 2019
№ 650: Vlad's Erection
Москва-на-Дону (July 30)
No one's disputin'
Donnie's pal Putin
is swell. He's a helluva guy.
Though he had not expected
Donnie would be elected
when he decided he'd give it a try.
We have to surmise
Vlad was surprised
when the outcome came out so favorable,
that smacking his lips at apocalypse,
he found it delightful and savorable.
Donnie could never be anyone's puppet.
Donnie is far too unstrung.
But he's such a dope, that given some rope
he's bound to get somebody hung.
He needn't do what Putin prefers,
but Vlad has faith whatever occurs,
Donnie, forever the misbehaved pup,
can be trusted — always! — to screw something up.
All Vlad needs to do is hang loose,
wait for the score to be tied at deuce.
With America being run by his Gremlin,
the scoreboard will read advantage Kremlin.
No one's disputin'
Donnie's pal Putin
is swell. He's a helluva guy.
Though he had not expected
Donnie would be elected
when he decided he'd give it a try.
We have to surmise
Vlad was surprised
when the outcome came out so favorable,
that smacking his lips at apocalypse,
he found it delightful and savorable.
Donnie could never be anyone's puppet.
Donnie is far too unstrung.
But he's such a dope, that given some rope
he's bound to get somebody hung.
He needn't do what Putin prefers,
but Vlad has faith whatever occurs,
Donnie, forever the misbehaved pup,
can be trusted — always! — to screw something up.
All Vlad needs to do is hang loose,
wait for the score to be tied at deuce.
With America being run by his Gremlin,
the scoreboard will read advantage Kremlin.
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
№ 649: A Meditation On Olde England
NOT CAMELOT (July 29)
Though shopkeepers may now be “foreign”,
though Eton's field are now deserted,
though Rolls and Bentley are owned by the Germans,
the Irish and Scots are still reliably vermin.
(As is who else? Ah, yes! The Welsh.)
The Guy Fawkes set remain a threat
to our shriveling Anglican hierarchy.
J. Corbyn's crew, though they are few,
could, given time, pose a problem or two.
Still England stands, if she no longer commands
admiration and fealty of lesser lands.
Except America, where, though they often regret it,
they still look to us. (The Yanks never get it.)
Boris Bumptious, forever presumptuous,
decided we're better alone
and set out to sea as blind as can be
without GPS or a plan to get home.
Believing himself the reincarnation
of Royal Alfred or even Arthur,
thinking he would outfox all Europe,
forgetting they find us a bit of a bother.
We will not benefit if he throws a fit
and Europe shows us the door.
Can we turn to America? Those distant cousins
who'll likely chortle whilst rolling on floor?
It is impossible to predict in advance
the weary end to this dreary dance.
England's interest will not be advanced
if she is seen as a down-market France.
Though shopkeepers may now be “foreign”,
though Eton's field are now deserted,
though Rolls and Bentley are owned by the Germans,
the Irish and Scots are still reliably vermin.
(As is who else? Ah, yes! The Welsh.)
The Guy Fawkes set remain a threat
to our shriveling Anglican hierarchy.
J. Corbyn's crew, though they are few,
could, given time, pose a problem or two.
Still England stands, if she no longer commands
admiration and fealty of lesser lands.
Except America, where, though they often regret it,
they still look to us. (The Yanks never get it.)
Boris Bumptious, forever presumptuous,
decided we're better alone
and set out to sea as blind as can be
without GPS or a plan to get home.
Believing himself the reincarnation
of Royal Alfred or even Arthur,
thinking he would outfox all Europe,
forgetting they find us a bit of a bother.
We will not benefit if he throws a fit
and Europe shows us the door.
Can we turn to America? Those distant cousins
who'll likely chortle whilst rolling on floor?
It is impossible to predict in advance
the weary end to this dreary dance.
England's interest will not be advanced
if she is seen as a down-market France.
Monday, July 29, 2019
№ 648.2: EXTRA! Zikes! Trump Found A Rat[cliffe] He Likes
Dan Coats to Step Down as Director of National Intelligence Next Month
Trump plans to nominate GOP Rep. John Ratcliffe of Texas, who stridently questioned Robert Mueller last week, for the position
TRUMP SWAMP (July 29)
At first Donnie hired mainstream CONSERVATIVES.
They bailed and he turned hard right.
When hard right wingers refused to work with him,
he felt he had to binge on the lunatic fringe,
knowing they, like him, were, I'm sorry, unhinged.
Where RATcliffe comes from there are many more.
Jared's apartments. In Baltimore.
№ 648.1: EXTRA! Kushner Rats Out Donald
Kushner owns lots of Baltimore-area apartments. Some are infested with mice. (Paywall)
. . .in Baltimore County. . .presidential son-in-law Jared Kushner owns more than a dozen apartment complexes that have been cited for hundreds of code violations. . .WHOOPS CITY, MD (July 29)
Sometimes mice can be very nice.
Sometimes they're Orthodox Jews.
Who, if you please, do not eat meat with cheese,
despite what you read in FAKE NEWS.
(Jared always screams bloody murger
whenever I make him eat a cheeseburger.)
I never said rodents are always opponents.
Many are family and friends.
My various brats I thought of as rats
and considered them just odds and ends.
Ivanka though not. My God, she is hot!
№ 648: Trump And Truth (a Clarabelleification)
TRUTH INCONSEQUENTIAL, NM (July 28)
From the desk of “John Barron”, Trump Organization “spokesman”
Lying is not Mr. Trump's second nature.
Mr. Trump has only one.
And he does not consider it lying.
To him it is just having fun.
“Creative hyperbole” my ghost writer called it,
which so tickled me that I installed it
as my go-to reply, so it is not a lie —
it is 100-proof alternative truth.
From the desk of “John Barron”, Trump Organization “spokesman”
Lying is not Mr. Trump's second nature.
Mr. Trump has only one.
And he does not consider it lying.
To him it is just having fun.
“Creative hyperbole” my ghost writer called it,
which so tickled me that I installed it
as my go-to reply, so it is not a lie —
it is 100-proof alternative truth.
Sunday, July 28, 2019
№ 647.1: EXTRA! Rats!
Better to have a few rats than to be one
This is a president who will happily debase himself at the slightest
provocation. And given Mr. Cummings’ criticisms of U.S. border policy,
the various investigations he has launched as chairman of the House
Oversight Committee, his willingness to call Mr. Trump a racist for his
recent attacks on the freshmen congresswomen, and the fact that “Fox
& Friends” had recently aired a segment critical of the city,
slamming Baltimore must have been irresistible in a Pavlovian way. Fox
News rang the bell, the president salivated and his thumbs moved across
his cell phone into action.
TRUMP SWAMP (July 28)
How Donald does love to attack,
which he learned from the master Roy Cohn,
who he was known to kneel down before,
but, no, that is not where I'm goin'.
I will not stoop to employing the ploy,
of hinting Donald was one of Roy's blond pretty boys.
I prefer taking a higher tack
and simply suggest the Rat Pack is back,
with Donald, the chief, when he ain't grabbin' it
presiding over the rats in his cabinet.
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