№ 650: Vlad's Erection

Москва-на-Дону (July 30)

No one's disputin'
Donnie's pal Putin
is swell. He's a helluva guy.
Though he had not expected
Donnie would be elected
when he decided he'd give it a try.

We have to surmise
Vlad was surprised
when the outcome came out so favorable,
that smacking his lips at apocalypse,
he found it delightful and savorable.

Donnie could never be anyone's puppet.
Donnie is far too unstrung.
But he's such a dope, that given some rope
he's bound to get somebody hung.

He needn't do what Putin prefers,
but Vlad has faith whatever occurs,
Donnie, forever the misbehaved pup,
can be trusted — always! — to screw something up.

All Vlad needs to do is hang loose,
wait for the score to be tied at deuce.
With America being run by his Gremlin,
the scoreboard will read advantage Kremlin.

№ 649: A Meditation On Olde England

NOT CAMELOT (July 29)

Though shopkeepers may now be “foreign”,
though Eton's field are now deserted,
though Rolls and Bentley are owned by the Germans,
the Irish and Scots are still reliably vermin.
(As is who else? Ah, yes! The Welsh.)

The Guy Fawkes set remain a threat
to our shriveling Anglican hierarchy.
J. Corbyn's crew, though they are few,
could, given time, pose a problem or two.

Still England stands, if she no longer commands
admiration and fealty of lesser lands.
Except America, where, though they often regret it,
they still look to us. (The Yanks never get it.)

Boris Bumptious, forever presumptuous,
decided we're better alone
and set out to sea as blind as can be
without GPS or a plan to get home.

Believing himself the reincarnation
of Royal Alfred or even Arthur,
thinking he would outfox all Europe,
forgetting they find us a bit of a bother.

We will not benefit if he throws a fit
and Europe shows us the door.
Can we turn to America? Those distant cousins
who'll likely chortle whilst rolling on floor?

It is impossible to predict in advance
the weary end to this dreary dance.
England's interest will not be advanced
if she is seen as a down-market France.

№ 648.2: EXTRA! Zikes! Trump Found A Rat[cliffe] He Likes

Dan Coats to Step Down as Director of National Intelligence Next Month

Trump plans to nominate GOP Rep. John Ratcliffe of Texas, who stridently questioned Robert Mueller last week, for the position

Mr. Ratcliffe. . .has been praised by Mr. Trump’s allies for his strident questioning of former special counsel Robert Mueller for declaring Mr. Trump wasn’t exonerated on the question of obstruction of justice in his report on Russia’s interference in the 2016 election

TRUMP SWAMP (July 29)

At first Donnie hired mainstream CONSERVATIVES.
They bailed and he turned hard right.
When hard right wingers refused to work with him,
he felt he had to binge on the lunatic fringe,
knowing they, like him, were, I'm sorry, unhinged.

Where RATcliffe comes from there are many more.
Jared's apartments. In Baltimore.

№ 648.1: EXTRA! Kushner Rats Out Donald

Kushner owns lots of Baltimore-area apartments. Some are infested with mice. (Paywall)

. . .in Baltimore County. . .presidential son-in-law Jared Kushner owns more than a dozen apartment complexes that have been cited for hundreds of code violations. . .

WHOOPS CITY, MD (July 29)

Sometimes mice can be very nice.
Sometimes they're Orthodox Jews.
Who, if you please, do not eat meat with cheese,
despite what you read in FAKE NEWS.
(Jared always screams bloody murger
whenever I make him eat a cheeseburger.)

I never said rodents are always opponents.
Many are family and friends.
My various brats I thought of as rats
and considered them just odds and ends.
Ivanka though not. My God, she is hot!

№ 648: Trump And Truth (a Clarabelleification)

TRUTH INCONSEQUENTIAL, NM (July 28)

From the desk of “John Barron”, Trump Organization “spokesman”

Lying is not Mr. Trump's second nature.
Mr. Trump has only one.
And he does not consider it lying.
To him it is just having fun.

“Creative hyperbole” my ghost writer called it,
which so tickled me that I installed it
as my go-to reply, so it is not a lie —
it is 100-proof alternative truth.

№ 647.1: EXTRA! Rats!

Better to have a few rats than to be one

This is a president who will happily debase himself at the slightest provocation. And given Mr. Cummings’ criticisms of U.S. border policy, the various investigations he has launched as chairman of the House Oversight Committee, his willingness to call Mr. Trump a racist for his recent attacks on the freshmen congresswomen, and the fact that “Fox & Friends” had recently aired a segment critical of the city, slamming Baltimore must have been irresistible in a Pavlovian way. Fox News rang the bell, the president salivated and his thumbs moved across his cell phone into action.

TRUMP SWAMP (July 28)

How Donald does love to attack,

which he learned from the master Roy Cohn,

who he was known to kneel down before,

but, no, that is not where I'm goin'.

I will not stoop to employing the ploy,

of hinting Donald was one of Roy's blond pretty boys.

I prefer taking a higher tack

and simply suggest the Rat Pack is back,

with Donald, the chief, when he ain't grabbin' it

presiding over the rats in his cabinet.

№ 647: Late Night Musings To Go With Snacks, Diet Cokes And Lotsa Big Macs

TRUMPWORLD (July 25)

When you win a war, people are thrilled.
They quickly forget how many you killed.
People love wars and stories of glory
They forget wars are horribly gory.

If I give the okay to go bomb Iran,
what will Kim think in Korea?
And Xi, in China, would he agree
bombing's a great panacea?
Would he similarly threaten Taiwan
if I give the okay to go bomb Iran?

I'm President, I can do what I want to.
Trudeau disses me, I bomb Toronto.

№ 646.3: EXTRA! A Bird Of A Feather Begs Pardon

Bernie Madoff asks Trump to commute his 150-year sentence (Paywall)

After Bernie Madoff admitted to masterminding the largest Ponzi scheme in history and bilking thousands of investors out of their cash, he was punished with a sentence that made it likely he would die in federal prison — 150 years.

Now, a decade into his time, at the age of 81, Madoff is seeking to have his sentence commuted by President Donald Trump. He has filed a petition for clemency with the Justice Department, according to its website.

MORAL VOID (July 25)

Dear Donnie,

Old pal,

do you think it fair

that I am here

and you are there

in the White House

with all your power?

(Granted you long for

your chintzy gold Tower.)

But I'm stuck in prison

like one of our schnooks

and compared to you

I'm barely a crook,

just a regular businessman

with no little flair

to make funds disappear

into thin air.

That you're not my cellmate

I suppose you must thank

your Vaterland buddies

from Deutsche Bank

who had you back,

whatever your crimes,

though you repaid 

their dollars with dimes.

If you do spring me,

some time in due course,

we'll shoot a round

at your swell golf course.

As an incentive.

may I add with a grin,

though you're a hacker,

I'll let you win.

You're the best,

Bernie (not the bad one)

№ 646.2: EXTRA! The Eagle Has Landed?

Trump speaks before presidential seal doctored with symbols of Russia and golf

Image mysteriously displayed behind president at rightwing event features two-headed eagle clutching golf clubs

THE VOID (July 25)

UPI/Barcroft Media

Golf club in hand,
gulf in his head,
then this Russian eagle. . .
WHAT lies ahead?

Click

№ 646.1: EXTRA! Just Deserts

Climate change: 12 years to save the planet? Make that 18 months

"The climate math is brutally clear: While the world can't be healed within the next few years, it may be fatally wounded by negligence until 2020," said Hans Joachim Schellnhuber, founder and now director emeritus of the Potsdam Climate Institute.

TERMINUS (July 25)

Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Jule Styne, Betty Comden and Adolph Green)

The Earth is over.

That’s what the scientists say.

No matter what we contend

we took a world and pissed it away.

It’s time to wind up our sad charade

and down some NyQuil,

take to the the bed we’ve made.

The Earth is over.

We've finally run out of luck.

With all our hustle and pluck

we’re not so much sapiens,

we’re more Homo schmuck.

It’s time to realize
we'll never mend.
Accept the break-up.
The Earth is over.

It’s all over.

THE END.

№ 646: Afghanistan Follow Up (body count no-account)

TRUMP WORLD (June 24)

How many would I be willing to kill
to bring about peace in my time?
I truly think ten million too many.
Do I believe five would be fine?
What body count would I require,
how many civilians would need to expire
before I could smile, saying with pride,
“Now I feel sated. I'm satisfied.”

№ 645.1: EXTRA! GOP Committee Members Pre-Response To Mueller

Robert Mueller Testimony Live: Former Special Counsel Faces Lawmakers

Rep. Devin Nunes, the top Republican on the House Intelligence Committee, opened the second hearing with Mr. Mueller with a quip: “Welcome everyone to the last gasp of the Russia collusion conspiracy theory.”

OKEFENOKEE (July 24)

Mr. Mueller, your “report”

caused a bit of a buzz.

Though we have not read it

we can state that it does

not reveal crimes Donald did not commit.

And, sir,  if it does, we don’t give a shit.

№ 645: Ever More Boris

LITTLE BRITAIN (July 23)

How long do you think it will be

before Boris knows it’s not 1903,

that the sun’s long since set

on the old Empire,

that with him “in command”

the U.K could expire?

Before he ships convicts out to Australia?

Renews border conflict with Venezuela?

Before his hired Hessians extinguish rebellion?

Before he rebuilds the navy and makes it swell again?

When he meets with the Queen in his phantasmagoria

will he realize Her Majesty is not Victoria?

Johnson’s premiership came slow and can’t last

because the future is never the past.

№ 644: Mr. Johnson Regrets (a history lesson)

LITTLE BRITAIN (July 22)

“There will always be an England,”

is what we used to say,

before Boris Bumptious

gave it all away

by turning back the calendar

to the time before

when Britain was divided

and there was a score

of dueling petty “kingdoms",

not one of which was "Great”

let alone “United”,

let alone a state

in any sense resembling

what Britain would become

from Land's End to John o' Groats and

a never setting sun,

until undone by history

as empires ever are,

a process Boris can't reverse.

Grande Bretagne, au revoir.

№ 643.1: EXTRA! Trump's Millions

Trump says he could win Afghan war 'in a week … but I don't want to kill 10m' 

Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Robert Allen and Al Stillman)

TRUMP WORLD (July 22)

I don't want to kill ten million.
No, not much.
Turn Afghanistan vermilion.
No, not much.
Although I could bomb that nation any time,
I would rather bomb Iran. . .that would be fine.
Would I start a major conflict?
In a clutch.
Funny now how it comes down to my crazy touch.
I could go around the bend,
maybe cause the world to end.
Ah, but would I do it?
Stay in touch. . .

№ 643: Send Them Back To Somalia

(with apologies to Cole Porter)

Email subscribers click here.

TRUMP'S AMERICA (July 21)

As I unravel, complain and cavil
about what bothers me,
the more convinced I become
I know what has to be.

I stand with Christians in opposition
to Muslims and Hindus,
who when cornered also admit
they hate non-Israel Jews.

Send them back to Somalia
or wherever they're from.
If you come from some shit hole land,
you can't be an American.

If you mostly speak Spanish,
if Sahara's north of your home,
let me be clear, you don't belong here,
you got a bum steer, you cannot come here.
So swim back home to your shit hole,
you low-down dirty scum.

Send them back to Somalia
or wherever they're from.
If you come from some shit hole land,
you can't be an American.

If you mostly speak Spanish,
if Sahara's north of your home,
let me be clear, you don't belong here,
you got a bum steer, you cannot come here.
So swim back home to your shit hole,
you low-down dirty scum.

Let me be clear, you don't belong here,
you got a bum steer, you cannot come here.
So swim back home to your shit hole,
you low-down dirty scum.

Go on back, go on back.
Go on back. Before we attack,
you low-down dirty scum!

№ 642: The Problem At Hand (involuntary celibacy)

INCEL, ID (June 18)

With rape and pillage offic'ly discouraged
few men today work up the courage
to use God-given authority
to screw the female majority,
what with shrews squawking —
their femme-Nazi talking —
insisting on their “equal rights”
which, historically speaking,
you'd waste your time seeking
in Homer, the Bible and Arabian Nights.

We incels need to expel
all our pent up frustration!
To restore patrimony,
we'll accept matrimony
and (maybe) less masturbation.
Preachers, producers and politicians,
actors, teachers and rock musicians
jocks, old, fat, ugly billionaires. . .
They get ALL the sex.
IT AIN'T NOT FAIR!

№ 641: Twit Tweets

Trump voters cringe and shrug at tweets while Democrats rage

HELENVILLE, Wis. (AP) — Bill Brasch greeted President Donald Trump’s latest tweet controversy with a shrug.

He doesn’t believe Trump was being racist for telling four congresswomen, all women of color, to “go back” to the countries they came from.

THE SWAMP (July 17)

Donald Trump tweeted garbage today.

Nothing which bears repeating.
And since his followers' attention is fleeting,
there's no point refuting, correcting, disputing
his mistakes, outright lies and deception.
I mean, after all, it is not as if
his Twitter wallowers would pay attention,
let alone face a fact that might distract
from the pre-ill-conceived notion that
this sad obese man has some sort of plan
to ensure, at a stroke, that white Christian folk
retain and remain the majority.
It is understood, he would if he could,
but he does not have THAT authority.

Yet.
I would not bet against his trying to do it.

I hear you say, “Congress stands in his way.”
To which he would say, “Screw it!”
and direct Stephen Miller, “Steve, at your leisure,
think up some way to turn me into Cæsar.”

№ 640: The Sky IS Falling (no, really!)

Climate eschatology

It’s not just hydrogen bombs pushing us closer to oblivion, it’s climate change and the threat of ecological collapse. Researchers now estimate the likelihood of human extinction by 2100 at 9.5%.

TOMORROWLAND (July 16)

(with apologies to George and Ira Gershwin)

The more I read the papers, the less I comprehend.
The world and all it's capers and how it soon will end.
Nothing seems to be lasting, but that isn't our affair.
We've got something permanent,
I mean how we don't care.
It's very clear we are not here to stay
Another year. . .maybe we go away
The internet and the airplane,
the technologies we love so,
destroy the planet. . .time for us to go.
Oh no, my dear, we are not here to stay.
Pack up your gear, prepare to pass away.
As we stumble and bumble the climate will crumble.
Despite what the Panglosses say,
we are not here to stay.

Email subscribers click here.


Email subscribers click here.

Then everyone click here.

OR, keeping it simple:
THIS is the way the world ends,
this IS the way the world ends,
this is THE WAY the world ends. . .
not with a bang but a wimple?
(Pace T. S. Eliot)

George Kraychyk/Hulu

№ 639: Donald's Self-Assessment

FANTASY LAND (July 15)

I could sell ANYTHING better than Bezos,

sing sweeter than Pavarotti.

My words are better than William Shakespeare's.

(And my fans are less snotty.)

I could paint better than Pablo Picasso.

(If I bothered to do that.)

I could do a kids' book more entertaining

than Dr. Seuss' The Cat In The Hat.

I could run a three minute mile.

I could pose naked for Playboy.

I could throw fastballs. Or touchdown passes.

And, if I chose to, I could birth babies.

I could write better lyrics than Porter.
Or Hart. Or Lin-Manuel Miranda.

I could fake the news better than Jim Acosta

I could teach Mafia bosses how to make pasta.

I could show my friend Kim a thing or two.

(Instruct him how to go bankrupt.)

I could teach Gypsy Rose Lee the ease of strip tease.

I could show Vesuvius how to erupt.

I could out-general Zhukov or Rommel.

I could out-land Aldrin and Armstrong.

I could out-model my wife, Melanie:

pasties on nipples, my schlong in a thong!

I am, I confess, always the best.

I out-race RuPaul in drag.

But you won't  — EVER!  —  hear me say that.

Because I never brag.

№ 638: Boris, You Bore Us (so sing us a chorus)

THE SETTING SUN (July 14)

Boris Johnson had not yet been born*

when Stop The World I Want To Get Off was performed**.

The score, nevertheless, has this poignant song

which I am sure Boris would, if he sang, sing along.

Some few specifics have, perhaps, changed,

but the candidate's tune remains the same.

He's a guy on the make who is less than third rate.
It seems the Sixties are far right up to date.

Email subscribers click here.
———————
* 1964
** 1961

№ 637.4: EXTRA! Borderline Personality Disorder

‘This is tough stuff’: Pence visits caged, unwashed, overcrowded migrants

• Men say they have been held for 40 days and want to brush teeth
• Vice-president claims migrants are ‘in good shape’
  

NORTHERN MEXICO — aka TEXAS (July 13)

Mike Pence says (densely) they're ‘in good shape’,
though a bit dirty and stinky.
(Latino illegals do not do afternoon tea.
They do not know from raising a pinky.)
Dems, he says, are solely to blame,
ignoring the facts. Still all the same,
although his reasoning is full of holes,
what does it matter? Illegals, we know, do not have souls
and they, therefore, can all be banished,
left, dirty, in cages to languish in Spanish.

St. Peter will someday say gleefully,
«¡Lo siento, Mikey, no perteneces aqui!»

Email subscribers click here.

“Poor Mexico, so far from God, so close to the US.” — Porfirio Diaz (or not)

№ 637.3: EXTRA! More Time For Epstein

(with apologies to Alan Jay Lerner and Fredrick Loewe)

IN THE MALE ID (July 13)

Each time I think about the fate of Monsieur Jeffrey Epstein,
I recall the film Gigi and contemplate the headline:
“Thank Heaven For Little Girls.”
This is, I guess, what dear old Jeffrey thought.
“Thank heaven that little girls
can for some trifling sum
because I'm rich be bought.
Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
provide such pleasure, my wrinkles set them squealing.
Thank heaven for little girls.
Thank heaven for them all
and for prosecutors who,
for a fee, ignore what I do.”


Email subscribers click here.

{updated 7/14/2019 4:53 pm]

№ 637.2: EXTRA! So It's Only A Crime If It's Printed?

Jeffrey Epstein: how US media – with one star exception – whitewashed the story

The Miami Herald exposed a vast criminal network and a government cover-up – but why the silence elsewhere?

HERE AND NOW (July 13)

Madison, sadly, could not foresee

what the country would turn out to be.

(Or did he?)

James makes no mention of prostitution

anywhere that I read in his Constitution.

(Why would he?)

He and his southern slave-owning cohorts

would never trifle with common town whores.

And to respect puritan New England bores,

they kept their activities entirely indoors,

observing completely, discreetly and privately

all of the trappings of upright society.

There was no prostitution. There was no fee.

They were “maintaining” their property.

Again, end of story, the moral of which

the only crime is not being rich.

Politicians, the press and billionaires:

one goes for the other, then they get theirs.

They, therefore, prefer keeping hands off

and we get this classic Mexican standoff.

By Martin SoulStealer - Flickr: Mexican Standoff, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=27011723

№ 637.1: EXTRA! I Mean, It's Not Like He Were Some Illegal Immigrant Toddler

Epstein’s Lawyers Push for Home Detention in Manhattan Mansion

Attorneys seek to keep financier out of prison pending sex-trafficking trial, dismissing U.S. prosecutors’ flight-risk concerns

BUSINESS CASUAL (July 12)

The single thing Jeff Epstein most fears

is not being judged by a jury of “peers”.

A jury with Clinton or JFK

would likely let him just walk away.

A jury with Cosby, a jury with Woody

would ignore “did he”, and decide he could.

A jury make up of Weinstein's and Spacey's,

not low-pay immigrant salesgirls from Macy's.

His dream team attorneys, I hope, will at least

seat on the panel a pædophile priest.

When convicted, he'll appeal to Augustus

where he'll get his one shot at justice.

Jeff — baby, sweetheart — keep up your gumption.

A pardon from Donald is a safe assumption.

№ 637: The Basics

EVERYWHERE (July 11)

Political prisoners don't discuss physics.
Neither do hunter-gatherers.
When every day your life's on the line
you have no time for blatherers
debating reality, space, time and quanta.
Surviving the moment is all that you want.
You have no reason for discussing things
as esoteric as theories of strings.
Though strings may be fundamentally real,
in your day-by-day that is not how it feels.

№ 636: Nature Calls

Louisiana declares state of emergency as storm develops into hurricane

New Orleans is already experiencing flooding and Mississippi River is forecast to reach tops of levees by Friday

The latest dire forecasts come as the city was already reeling from flash flooding on Wednesday morning. Garbage containers tilted on their sides and pieces of wood floated down rain-swollen streets in a number of neighborhoods.

REALITY CHECK (July 10)

Yes it is pretty, but let us be clear:

New Orleans really shouldn't be there.

Like California, it is in the wrong place

and Mother Nature will, in time, erase it.

Nothing to do with music or sinning

or fruit or software, there is no winning

when people insist on trying to live

where they should not, something must give.

Be it the levee or the earth 'neath your feet,

if you fight Mother Nature, she will defeat you.

№ 635: The Way It Is

Acosta Defends Handling of Epstein Case as Democrats Call for His Resignation

Labor secretary comes under fire for role in plea deal with financier accused of sexual trafficking involving underage girls

THE WAY OF THE WORLD (July 9)

“Rulers” will always do as they please.

That's parcel and part of their glory.

Though their activities cause others unease. . .

Big deal. So what? End of story.

The rich and the famous are favored by God,

who, frankly, is like that Himself.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
You cannot hoist them by their petard.

That is not good for your health.

If you try to apply workaday rules

to rulers and their lieutenants,

you'll find they have innumerable tools

to make things unpleasant for you and dependents.

Therefore you dare not do anything,

but hold your nose and kiss their ring.

🙈          🙉          🙊

Joseph Farris/New Yorker Cartoons

№ 634.1: EXTRA! Pleading The Trump Amendment — “When you’re a star, they let you do it.”

Kevin Spacey accuser denies deleting or altering texts about alleged assault

Man’s lawyer said they cannot find cellphone but recovered a copy of its contents that was backed up to a computer

Jeffrey Epstein charged with federal sex trafficking crimes

• Some victims were just 14 years old, prosecutors allege
• Billionaire sex offender pleads not guilty in New York court
  

WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE TOAD (July 8)

Actors and billionaires

are not without cares.

They're indicted for crimes –

it's a sign or the times.

“Envy and spite” invite the benighted

to persecute geniuses

whose overgrown penises,

give judges pause

and free them from laws

that constrain lesser folk

not in on the joke

who must learn to accept

one simple precept:

We're rich and famous

and, therefore, blameless.

№ 634: A Pollute To Us

Sargassum: The biggest seaweed bloom in the world
A floating mass of seaweed stretching from West Africa to the Gulf of Mexico is now the biggest seaweed bloom in the world, according to satellite observations.

IN A KINGDOM BUY THE SEA (July 8)

(with apologies to Mr. E. A. Poe)

Surely it was not that long ago
  when we could still see the sea.
A sea not drowning in weeds and pollution
  and shore-to-shore foul blooms of algae.
None of which, I hasten to add,
  can be laid at the feet Trump's presidency.

We were but children, what did we know
  of activities destroying the sea?
To us it was progress and profit and love
   of our inborn creative profligacy.
A love of “improving” and mountains moving
  and sending our trash out to sea.

And that is why in a year or so
  there may well be no more sea.
Just gobs of garbage — nature's and ours —
  stretching as far as your eye see.
And all the sea's creatures will need to expire
  unless they evolve to feed on the gyre
and find it nutritious, if not quite delicious.
  Life, at its best, is meretricious.

№ 633: Headlines

HERE AND NOW (July 7)

British ambassador calls Donald inept.

(Speak of a secret but poorly kept.)

UN declares climate outlook is bleak,

a brand new disaster at least once a week.

Iran's giving up on nuclear deal.

(Additional proof Trump's a schlemiel?)

Meanwhile at Brexit, could be Johnson's thing

is playing the part of Jacobin king.

Book: Trump calls AOC “Evita”.

(Who wudda guessed he knew from da theata?)

The people of Hong Kong it seems wish to die.

If so, Premier Xi will oblige. By-and-bye.

Our sperm counts are falling. This is a crisis.

Who can we blame? Latinos or ISIS?

Evangelicals continue their Trump adoration,

succumbing to his satyr's “salvation”.

Ex-GOPer toys with White House run,

calls for impeachment. Lordy, what fun!

Feds arrest billionaire. Under-age sex.

(Maybe he runs for president next?)

And though I confess I do not care much,

in “football” our women defeat the Dutch.

№ 632: Noing Our Place In Time And In Space

Whether we're astronauts shot into space
or eking out a simple subsistence,
what we don't know and when we don't know it
remains the bane of human existence.
Astronauts cannot exist on their own.
“Primitives” can — sometimes — thrive all alone.
This goes a long way toward explaining
our forebears foregoing astronaut training.

№ 631: Back To The Fourth (a tweet from tomorrow)

THE SWAMP (July 3)

I was BETRAYED!

That was NOT my parade.

That tiny, puny, little charade.

Not enough tanks. Not enough planes.

Where were the immigrant children in chains?

Not enough ANYTHING! A damned pooper scooper.

Where was Robert E. Lee? Where were my storm troopers

goose stepping while I smiled beatifically?

It had no style. It failed horrifically.
It was intended to celebrate ME! So I could gloat over Putin and Xi.

Now how can I put down my BFF, Kim?

Where were the missiles with which I threaten him?

To you Pentagon Dems behind this SAD plot:

when I find who you are, I'll have you shot.

This is NOT what I asked for. . .this strolling at leisure.

I called for a Triumph. Like Julius Cæsar!

NOT some dumb, casual come-as-you-are.

I wanted a spectacle fit for a Tsar.

A parade — must I say it explicitly? —

a parade reflecting the glory of ME.

A parade of parades breaking the mold

with my bew-t-ful Soldiers* plated in gold.
———————————————
*and Sailors, Airmen, Marines — SPACE FORCE CADETS! 
Plus a battalion or two of World War II vets.
Maybe Coast Guarders. Do they they go on land? 
After Hurricane Whatsis, I 💗 their brand.

№ 630: Natural Disaster

REALITY CHECK (July 2)

Mother Nature viewed in her totality

clearly has little time for morality.

Less than little. From day number one,

the lady's made clear that she has none.

Not one bloody second, not even a milli-,

in Nature morality’s existentially silly

and wasteful and makes zero sense.

How Nature rolls is expedience.

Expedience AND opportunity

for individuals or a species community.

As it is now, will be, was in beginning,
the only thing Nature cares for is winning.

№ 629: Movie Pitch

FANTASYLAND (July 1)

Here's this idea for a new Disney flick.

It’s got a princess. It can be made quick.

Her dad, the king, has always been nuts.

Two weak evil brothers — audience loves hating their guts.

Maybe a semi-legitimate sister

and baby hubby who dares not resist her.

Then something happens — you know, movie stuff —

and daddy’s deposed, but not quick enough

and evil “Uncle” — did I mention him? —

ascends the throne. Turns out he’s rotten.

Worse than her dad, worse than both brothers.

Seems like he’s had too few grandmothers.

Then more of the usual Hollywood stuff.

A perfect project for Hillary Duff!

It could be a musical. Like I said all along.

Hilly could write (at least) one of the songs.

Maybe it's a live-action cartoon:

Princess Ivanka! Go see it soon!

№ 628: Kim Jong Un, Superstar? (and an invitation)

Donald Trump invites Kim Jong-un to US after entering North Korea

US president hails ‘great honour’ of crossing border at impromptu meeting

NOT IN KANSAS, ANY MO (June 31)

Donald's #MAGAest hits?


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