№ 852: Donnie In The Virus' Den

IN HIS DEMENTED DREAM (May 7) —
If I got in the cage with this virus,
I'd show it who is the boss.
All I need is a whip and a chair.
And a bottle of Worcestershire sauce.
I 'd show this virus a couple a' tricks
that nobody has ever seen.
I'd make this virus retire to China.
That's what I'd do.
Ya know what I mean?
I would beat it, defeat it, 
and then I would eat it.
This whole thing's a FAKE.
A teeny-weeny hamburger steak.
And for dessert, bew-t-ful cake.
I'd wash it down with Diet Coke^®
and give Rudy G., a stogie t' smoke.

№ 851: The Skys Are Limited

The Big Park (Paywall)

An economy in lockdown requires far fewer planes and ships, forcing owners to figure out where to store them

Nowhere is the challenge more acute than in aviation. Reeling from travel bans, many airlines have grounded their entire fleets, while most others have cancelled the majority of flights. Collectively, they have dropped tens of millions of seats from their schedules every week . . .

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(with apologies to Lionel Bart) 

  

BLUE SKIES FROWNING (May 6) — 

Who will buy my seven-three-sevens?

Who will save the air industry?

All these planes and nobody needs them

We can't give them away for free

With all the airlines grounded

'cuz everything's locked down,

Airbus and Boeing profits pounded,

their ships have run aground

No one needs a 320neo

then there's Boeing's cat-as-tro-phe

Airlines die when no one will fly them

There's nothing we can do,

plane makers' Waterloo,

because there's no one who will fly

№ 850: Donnie's Priorities

Trump gives up on virus fight to focus on economic recovery – and re-election
Donald Trump is effectively abandoning a public health strategy for the coronavirus pandemic and showing “clear willingness to trade lives for the Dow Jones”, critics say.

A leaked internal White House report predicts the daily death toll from the virus will reach about 3,000 on 1 June . . .

. . . Trump has scrapped daily coronavirus taskforce briefings and marginalized his medical experts in favour of economic officials flooding the airwaves to urge states to reopen for business – even amid rising infection rates.

“They’ve decided in a very utilitarian kind of way that the political damage from a collapsed economy is greater than the political damage from losing as many as 90,000 more Americans just in June,” said Rick Wilson, a former Republican strategist. “We’re witnessing the full-scale application of a kind of grisly realpolitik that is a clear willingness to trade lives for the Dow Jones.”

HERE AND NOW (May 5) —

Gotta reopen America!
NOW!

Everyone get back to WORK!

Gotta revive my GREAT economy!

I don't care what Birx and Fauci say.  

(What do “doctors” know anyway? 
Compared to my gut, they're amateurs.
I only need doctors when I fake bone spurs.)

Gotta show everyone who the real boss is.

Say all these deaths are acceptable losses.
I don't care who dies or gets infected,

so long as I get re-elected.

Gotta figure out how to maneuver,

so no one can say, “Trump . . . WHAT! A! LOSER!”

№ 849: The Music Of Alt-Right

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CRYSTAL BALL (May 4) —

Summer oozing, slithers through September,

stumbling, falling, fearful come November

that the whale prevails and has long enough coattails

so GOP completely sweeps the slate,
extending #MAGA caps expiry date

Use your eyes,

realize that it’s game, set, match,

nothing will be as it was before

This is worse, more accursed, than Elder Bush,

more so than Younger beating Gore

Dealing, stealing, Trump defiles the nation,

humping, dumping, venting FAKE frustration

All things have to end, the question is just when

In this case the GOP alt-Right

transformed sunrise into deepest night

When the land's preponderantly white,
douse the light and Gracie say “Good night”

№ 848: Profit Of Dumb

She Predicted the Coronavirus. What Does She Foresee Next?(Paywall)
Laurie Garrett, the prophet of this pandemic, expects years of death and “collective rage.”

APOCALYPSE NEXT (May 3) —

Life expectancy falls to the norm for Neanderthals.

Thirty-five is the new eighty.

Revengeful nature crafts rafts of viruses.

The U.S. is the new Haiti.

Climate change brews bitter storms.

Rising seas swallow the coastline.

Locusts swarm. Bees die off

as Chanticleer crows his new boast line,

“I, alone, am solely responsible

for all the pleasures remaining.”

His incompetence made crisis possible.

He can not comprehend the complaining.

“I command that it halt.

It's not MY fault!

Adapted from 

https://medium.com/@swatkinslaw/the-cock-and-the-fox-6b29ef2ab998