№ 837: A Cunning Plan

E.P.A. Weakens Controls on Mercury (Paywall)

The new Environmental Protection Agency rule does not eliminate restrictions on the release of mercury, a heavy metal linked to brain damage. Instead, it creates a new method of calculating the costs and benefits of curbing mercury pollution that environmental lawyers said would fundamentally undermine the legal underpinnings of controls on mercury and many other pollutants.

FAST BUCK REPUBLIC (April 16) — 

REPUBLICANS, seeking to increase their number,

strive to make everyone dumber.

Their solution: increase pollution, 

advance intellect diminution.

After a while, nobody can

think any clearer than Aynie Rand.

Destroying schools and the environment

is, far and away, primary requirement.

To lock in —  FOREVER! —  their Capitol gains

they dasn't refrain from rotting brains.

№ 836: Spin Bald Wizard

Trump’s critique of WHO may be a diversion, but it resonates beyond the White House (Paywall)


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(with apologies to Jerome Kern, Otto Harbach, and Oscar Hammerstein II)
LOOK OVER THERE (April 15) —

I learned from an early age, if

you’re threatened by contagion,

divert attention — ever a sure bet

Daddy Fred and my Roy Cohn,

sadly both long dead and gone,

yet I still remain to them in-debt-

ed

WHO 

is responsible

Who?

Me? “Imponsible!”

WHO 

did things, I never would do

WHO 

knew things, I never knew too

WHO 

Cut their funds I say

Who

needs WHO anyway?

Who?

Between me and you

WHO knew

Don't blame me, blame WHO

№ 835: I Am I, Donald Trump

Trump says his ‘authority is total.’ (Paywall)

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(with apologies to Mitch Leigh and Joe Darion)

NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE (April 14) —

HEAR ME now thou purveyors of “science” and “fact”,

C-N-N, MS-NBC.

Your “facts” are no match for my Twitter attack.

This story is all about me!

I am I, Donald Trump! Heh!

My body is lumpy.

My ego is fragile. And so

the Supremes prostitution

of the Constitution

assures me that I run the show.

That I alone run the show.

To hell in handbasket we go.

№ 834: Dear Dr. Fauci

END OF THE ROAD (April 13) —

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(with apologies to Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick)

ANTHONY FAUCI,

you are our guy

Do not let Trump

make us all die

Just because 

he is aloof from all truth

is no reason why we should die

Anthony Fauci,

you have to assail

all of his lies

you can not fail

‘cuz if you do, then the country is through

unless Pence pulls off a coup

However,

Mike is not clever

enough to

do any such thing

As for

cabinet losers,

all of them toady to the ding-a-ling

Anthony Fauci,

you have to prevail

we're counting on you,

our Holy Grail,

you and Doc Brix have to counter Trump’s tricks

and help us get out

(from without the lout)

of this fix

Dear Dr. Fauci we're counting on you

№ 833: A Virus From China

He Could Have Seen What Was Coming: Behind Trump’s Failure on the Virus (Paywall)
An examination reveals the president was warned about the potential for a pandemic but that internal divisions, lack of planning and his faith in his own instincts led to a halting response.

THE WHITE HEARSE (April 12) —
(with apologies to Frank Loesser)

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by his own tiny hand

№ 844: Doubting Thomas Road

OUT TO LYNCHBURG, VA (April 27) —
With all the talk of cures in the air,
why aren't there any mentioning prayer?
So many say they can pray gay away,
why not add, “God, chase corona away”? 

Why isn't Falwell (or other ministers)
pleading for aid from the Divine Listener?
This could, I suppose, be totally logical,
presuming his thinking on things theological:
is, “Heaven’s my home. I am not of the world.
I get to tell God where He's failed
And then inform Him how things would done,
with Falwells in charge, Father & Son.”
(Jerry-mandered Falwell requirements
pushing the Old Guy into retirement.)

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