Friday, November 15, 2019

№ 727: Devil Nonnews For The Defense

HEAVEN-ON-EARTH-ON-DON (November 14)

Donnie's as innocent as was O. J.
when he was acquitted for murder.
Charges trumped-up by corruptible cops. . .
what Dems do to Donnie is even absurder.

We hold that Donnie is totally innocent  
and we do not care that he isn't.
If he and O. J. played golf with Rudolph,
think how the Dems would run off their mouth.

Building God's kingdom requires hypocrisy.
Neither He, we nor Donnie care for democracy.
Unlike Obama, Donnie is not ethereal.
He's cataclysmic, bold and imperial.

When we're in heaven we will have fun.
All of God's chillun in heaven got guns.
Only an atheist Socialist tool
would oppose letting God's chosen rule.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

№. 726: Slow News Day

NOTHING TO SEE HERE KEEP MOVING (November 13)

That Donald J. Trump is a man of his word
is not absurd, though his words be slurred,
or their meaning blurred by mispronunciation.
His beautiful signature can seal any deal,
on a check make a non-disclosuree squeal
with greater delight than she did that night
that the NDA was conceived to conceal.

Donald's been known on occasion to pay
the amount guaranteed in a contract.
Or, to put it another way,
lawyers can't get him out of the compact.

When he signs his name his scorecard,
that is the proof he is far below par.
It is impossible or, at least, it is hard
to imagine otherwise. The thought is bizarre.

THREE TIMES now did he vow till death not to part.
That twice love died might have broken the heart
of lesser men, but then, again,
Donald J. Trump knows when to say when.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

№ 725: Donnie Addresses His “Christian” Base Bias (or First things Faust)

AS GOD IS MY WITLESS (November 12)


Although Dems deny it, Adam Schiff is my Pilate.
(After all, I am your savior.)
But when I'm attacked, unlike Christ, I strike back.
In fact, fighting's my favorite flavor.
(Except, I guess, for sex that's coerced,
which, since I am tactful, is not perverse.
It's merely a little colluding corruption,
along with a dash of justice obstruction.
These women who play at being annoyed,
in truth enjoy being toyed with by boys, 
deploying coyness to increase their fees
for NDA's and divorce decrees.)

If you permit Shifty to crucify me
because of my Kiev chicanery,
there will be no more judges
who really “like beer”.
(And who, like you, detest all things queer.)
Friends, Romans, countrymen: lend me your ear.
Stand firm. Do not budge. 
Ignore the sludge 
and the sewage.
Consider it truage.

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

№ 724: Parasite Paradise

Parasites are going extinct in droves – and we should be very worried (Paywall)

They cause deadly diseases and brainwash crickets to leap into ponds, so why are conservationists fighting to save parasites from extinction?


Andrew Dobson at Princeton University [says], “Parasites are as fundamental to an ecosystem as predators are,” he says. In nature, parasitism is the most common way to get food, shelter and other resources – so common that parasites far outnumber free-living organisms. For example, the 45,000 known vertebrates are home to more than 75,000 parasites.

“There are more animals being eaten from the inside out than the outside in,” says Dobson. At least 70 per cent of food-web interactions are between a parasite and its host, says Carrie Cizauskas at the University of California, Berkeley. “Parasites are the glue that holds an ecosystem together.”

Take the camel cricket. Like many crickets, it can be infected by a parasite called a horsehair worm. After the worm matures in the cricket’s body, it needs to reach fresh water to reproduce. Instead of waiting for the cricket to take an accidental bath, the worm compels its host to make a suicidal leap into a stream or pond, where it can then bore a hole and slither into the water. In doing so, the worm provides a crucial delivery service: crickets account for more than half the food eaten by trout in some areas. . .

THE WAY IT IS (November 11)

Existence, in fact, is just about eating.
Bacteria, amoebæ, seeds and blue whales
are on the menu for something or other.
(No need to go in to gory details.)

Come dinner time there are no winners,
saints are every bit as tasty as sinners.
“From sperm to worm” (a rhyme from Sondheim*)
everything feeds something, sometime.

The basic fact of this living condition:
if you exist you are nutrition.
——————————————
*West Side Story, “Quintet”

Monday, November 11, 2019

№ 723: Quantum Donnie (a Dunning-Kruger exercise)

DONNIE-ON-DON (November 10)

I would have been the sexiest Beatle,
sexier, frankly, than Ringo,
more pretty than Paul, smarter than John,
and, unlike George, eager to mingle.

I can not say why, but I've never been shy.
I suppose it's because I'm superior
to everyone and, of course, it is fun
to yell to the scum “You're inferior!”

Had I been a girl, I'd be maybe Monroe?
Loren? Bardot? Lollobrigida?
I would not be Fonda. Her legs are stumpy.
That's why I would never solicit her.

I am all male, so hearty, so hale.
Compared to me all other men pale.
I could regale you with many a tale
of sexual prowess off every scale.

I will not be reticent, I am the best president
that ever was or ever could be.
No “Constitution”, no Dem persecution
will ever put limits on me.

ALL CRINGE BEFORE ME! All bow down in awe!
Unlike all other Gods, I AM! Without flaw!
Some say I'm perfect. (NOT at my behest!)
Perfect? We'll see. (Does perfect mean best?)
———————
CORRECTION
Due to an  editing oversight, the music credit was omitted for № 722: Theme From The Legend Of Donnie Trump (a FOX network preview) on Friday, November 8. Harry Warren composed music and lyrics for theme of The Life And Legend Of Wyatt Earp which ran on ABC from 1955 - 1961.