No. 262.1: EXTRA! Nunes Memo (Update)

President Trump approved release Friday of a GOP memo alleging surveillance abuses by the FBI, intensifying a fight between the White House and Republican lawmakers, on one side, and the nation’s top law enforcement agency over whether the origins of a probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election were tainted by political bias.
— WaPo: President approves release of GOP memo criticizing FBI surveillance (Paywall)

I SPY

with my beady eye

a cunning plot

by the FBI

as, shades of
“Jaye” Edgar Hoover,
they try to apply

the Heimlich maneuver

to dislodge the lump,

Donald J. Trump.

As is his wont,

Donald is claiming

it proves him innosont.

Only it don't.

[updated 2/3/2018 2:30 pm]

No. 262: The Donald And The Don (Again)

Nurture or nature,

culture or genes?

John Gotti and Donald

both hail from Queens.

(Ya think we orta

see what's in the water?)

One was Italian

the other's Scots-German.

(Resisting temptation

of obvious rhyme.

Saving it for

some other time.)

One was an honest,

murderous crook,

the other breaks every

rule in the book.

The Don and The Donald,

both good “family” men.

One died in the pen —

can you say Amen?

The Teflon^™ Don's gone

to his final “reward”.

The Donald's our president. . .

I mean. . .Good Lord!

No. 261: Donald In The Forest

“They say that if you cheat at golf, you cheat at business. I’m pretty sure he pays his caddie well, since no matter how far into the woods he hits the ball, it’s in the middle of the fairway when we get there.”

— Guardian: 'He cheats like hell': Trump's pro golfing partner on playing with the president

so he cheats at golf

so he cheats on his wives

so he makes things up

so he blatantly lies

he is corrupt

a serial bankrupt

but don't bring that up

or he'll erupt

the question is fraught

and worth repeating

if he's never caught

is he really cheating

he is I fear

just as depicted

the world won't be safe

until he's evicted

No. 260.1: EXTRA! Department Of Apt Metaphors

A chartered train carrying dozens of GOP lawmakers to a Republican retreat in West Virginia struck a garbage truck south of Charlottesville, Virginia, on Wednesday, lawmakers said.

• A GOP aide said the train partially derailed
• No lawmakers were believed to be injured in the accident
  

— Guardian: Train carrying dozens of GOP lawmakers hits truck in Virginia

BREAKING NEWS: this just in:

our reg'lar program we interrupt.

GOP on a train

hits a garbage truck.

Though off the track, they're uninjured.

The driver of truck? No such luck.

And, make of it

whatever you will,

this train wreck occurred

in Charlottesville!

(As Art Buchwald would say,

“You can't make this stuff up.”)

No. 260: The Craven (número tres)

(with continuing apologies to Edgar Allan Poe and, I suppose, poetry lovers everywhere)

Previously on “The Craven” (No.257.1, No. 258)

Once upon a midnight tweeting. . .
Repeating lies of greater size. . .
“It's Robert Mueller!”
Then through the door a horde did burst. . .
“Documents!” quoth I, “Indeed!”. . .

Today's episode:

  Standoff still, we starred in silence. This Mueller, was he prone to violence?
Would TRUMP be crushed into the mush of Big Macs smushed there on the floor?
  “It could,” said I, “be in your interest, ending quick this senseless inquest,
  this nothing burger of uninterest, if, for instance, I request. . .”
My lawyer told me, “Say no more,” and scuttled, high-tailed, through the door.
  Sad, I gazed upon the floor.

  The room was cleared and as I feared they'd seized my phone. I stood alone.
My mind reeled, my feet lost feeling, could it be young Don was squealing
  ratting out his dealing dad? I never really liked that lad. Or his brother.
  The pair remind me of their mother who I wish I'd ordered smothered.
There's many folks just don't deserve me, I gotta tell ya, it unnerves me.
  Those who know me live to serve me.

[to be continued?]

No. 259: Asked And Answered

When it comes to winning people to your side, after all, there’s no better method than stoking fears about an outside threat—and then assuring them that you, and you alone, offer the best protection.

— Quartz: Germany was once the witch-burning capital of the world. Here’s why

Wellcome Collection

Not unique,

these “German” views.

AS IF!
other volk

were better news,

and didn't do

what sapiens do

unto THEM
before THEY
do unto you.

Put any human group

to the test,

their response:

Carthago
delenda est.

No. 258: The Craven (partie la seconde)

(with continuing apologies to Edgar Allan Poe and, I suppose, poetry lovers everywhere)

Previously on “The Craven” (No.257.1):

Once upon a midnight tweeting. . .

Repeating lies of greater size. . .

suddenly I heard a tapping. . .

perhaps the maid. . .

“It's Robert Mueller!”

Today's episode:

 Then through the door a horde did burst, Robert Mueller being first,
Scattering my platter of Big Macs upon the bedroom floor.
  Amidst the throng I spied my lawyer, who Mueller cornered in the foyer,
  “Please inform your client he has the right to remain silent,
though silence I suspect 's a state your client can't endure.”
      I grabbed a burger off the floor.  

  Mouth stuffed, I cried a bluff, “Lay off, Macduff! Damn, hold enough! 
This is TRUMP you're dealing with! How dare you crash my chamber door!”
  From some hidden inner pocket, Mueller extracted a court docket
  Listing warrants by the torrent (which I, frankly, found abhorrent). 
“Documents,” he decreed, “which you need to read and heed.” 
     “Documents!” quoth I, “Indeed!”,
     and dumped them on the floor.

[to be continued?]