Someone blows a whistle, know what I say? Okay,
someone blew a whistle, we make it go 'way. Okay?
It's all so simple:
you find who rats you out,
you lie, you shout, you cre-ate doubt.
So I do collusion? So I subvert? 'Smy way.
Whistler doesn't like it? Maybe gets hurt? Highway?
Squeeze the pimple,
until he wants t' die.
Anybody knows me,
they gotta know,
it is my show,
it's about me.
No one blows a whistle
ev-er on me.
THISPETTYPLACE (October ?) (with apologies to Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim) May-be.
I 'spose.
Pretty soon,
it begins.
Tes-ti-mony.
Congress wins?
Punch in the nose.
They find tons of smoking guns,
that'd be fun,
it's a home run
and Donnie goes.
I 'spose?
It's a stretch,
it's a reach,
but just maybe they impeach. “Maybe, we'll see.”
And then if the Senate convicts. . .
despite conflicts?
Could it be true?
A victory?
Could it be?
Yes, it could.
Impeachment's coming,
which is good.
Is it too late?
Impeachment's coming.
(Probably not.)
But if it did,
it'd be great.
Wit-ness-es
tes-ti-fy.
GOP
sez “He's not our guy.”
And they backtrack.
Impeachment's coming,
can't tell when,
hope it's soon.
The buffoon
counterattacks.
He sends Rudy,
his one-man Punch and Judy,
fes-tooned
in jester's
liv'ry.
Rudy huffs,
Rudy roars,
Rudy pisses on the floor.
Nobody cares.
Come, impeachment,
breach the peace.
call the p'lice, “It's so unfair”
The drummer's drummin',
I think impeachment's comin'.
Ya 'spose?
It's a stretch,
it's a reach,
but just maybe they impeach.
If not, we're shot.
Prexy-for-life.
So now begins the reading of the tea leaves and the careful scrutiny of every Republican senator’s statements (or silence). Will Republicans finally break with Trump? We may not know until it happens. But be forewarned — if it does happen, it will likely take us by surprise. After all, political science has shown us that big political changes often come suddenly, after long periods of stasis. Looking back, it seems like of course the Soviet Union was bound to collapse. But up until the moment it did — and remember, it fell all at once — almost nobody predicted it.
(with apologies to Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II)
What's the use of wondrin'
why he's good at bein' bad
or if that thing upon his head is hair
Oh, what's the use of wondrin'
if he's good — he's not? — so SAD!
he's our fella, so we love him
it's not as if we cared
about the endin'
which will, no doubt, be bad
if we had sense — or souls — we'd run away
but this is no conundrum
for although the endin's bad
he's our fella, so we love him
there's nothin' more to say
Somethin' made him the way that he is
things we dast not dis-cuss
and somethin' gave him the things that are his
one of those things is us,
ex-plic-it a-com-pli-ces
which some once thought was mad
but thanks to him WE NOW OWN THE COURTS!
so it does not behoove us
to note the Em-per-or's unclad
he's our Stanley, we're his Stella
and so we love his warts
[updated 10/4/2019 11:05 am to replace youtube links due originals not working;
visit our Tumblr feed where original does work; go figure]
Email subscribers click here. INHISWORLDESTDREAMS (October 2) (with apologies to Leslie Bricusse and Cyril Ornadel)
When I rule the world
even Democrats my praises will sing
as they beg may they please kiss my “ring”
I'll be loved like Un and Vlad and Jinping
When I rule the world
okay, I guess, it'll just be U.S.
but who really needs the rest of the mess
that I'd make with my gross fecklessness
My world will be a gaudy, gold place
where I'll scheme such devious schemes
My world will keep the Spics in their place,
south of the border made of steel beams
When I rule the world
there will not be a spot I won't spoil
not a place where I'll not drill for oil
No, my friend, not when I rule the world
Everything will be crude and crass
as each day Stormy paddles my ass
if it ever comes to pass that I rule the world.
Paper mache and border patrol
whatever I tweet in the night
Con-sti-tu-tion Rev-o-lu-tion
makes you all die of fright
however it looks laws on the books, they don't mean a thing
haven't got a crown upon my head, yet I am a king
Be real scared
I have a solution
for the Constitution
Paper mache
Paper mache and border patrol
whatever I tweet in the night
Con-sti-tu-tion Rev-o-lu-tion
makes you all die of fright
however it looks laws on the books, they don't mean a thing
haven't got a crown upon my head, yet I am a king
Be real scared
I have a solution
for the Constitution
Paper mache
All of a sudden it happens
when I do what I promised to
your government is through
Like paper mache
All of a sudden it happens, oh,
President-for-life
I treat you like a wife
Like paper mache, paper mache
Like paper mache, paper mache
Like paper mache
Paper mache and border patrol
whatever I tweet in the night
Con-sti-tu-tion Rev-o-lu-tion
makes you all die of fright
however it looks laws on the books, they don't mean a thing
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
Kimmy's got the bomb if the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
If Donald Trump Does It, It’s Not a Crime (Paywall) Trump sees the Ukraine call as a “nothing” because he has spent his entire adult life skirting, mocking, ignoring or breaking the law.
Most people, perhaps even most sociopaths, have an internal alarm that goes off when they do something wrong. They may not feel an ounce of guilt, remorse or sorrow, but their instinct for survival is strong enough to send a red alert.
Not so with President Trump. The first question I had after reading the White House reconstruction of the July 25 phone call, in which he prods Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to interfere with an American election, was: How could they release this?
“It turned out to be a nothing call,” Trump said. He also described it as “beautiful” and “perfect” and asked for an apology from his critics.
ANDTHATSTHEWAYITIS (October 1)
“Everything you get away with is legal,”
is what my dad always thought.
Later in life, Roy Cohn taught me,
“There's nothing out there cannot be bought.”
He said, “‘Justice’ is just a market commodity
something you buy and you swap.
You make a ‘deal’ under the table?
These people you deal with. . .they can't call a cop.
“If they threaten to. . .we threaten to sue,
saying we'll show they are more dirty than you
and I recommend they don't really want to.
Irregardless of grudges, I ‘know’ the judges.
They're in my tank at ‘The Old Favor Bank’.”
Donnie: Who's my lawyer?
Melanie: Giuliani.
Donnie: Oh.
Melanie: He's corrupt.
Donnie: Daddy was a Mafiosi?
Melanie: They all say so.
Donnie: No!
Melanie: He's corrupt.
Melanie: Now you're worried.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
Melanie: Yes, you are.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
They can't touch me.
Melanie: See, you're angry.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
Melanie: Yes, you are.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
I will get off...Stay.
Melanie: I'm leaving.
Donnie: Why?
Melanie: You're all nuts.
Donnie: Stay.
Melanie: I have to-
Both: -Go
Melanie: -I know-
Both: Giuliani.
Donnie: Look, you're a very special girl,
Not just overnight.
No, you're a very special girl,
And not because you're bright...
Not just because you're bright.
You're just a very special girl...Stormy!
Melanie: Melanie!
Donnie: Melanie!
Melanie: Thank you.
Donnie: Whatcha thinking?
Melanie: Giuliani.
Donnie: Oh.
Melanie: He's unclean.
Donnie: Stay a minute.
Melanie: I don't want to.
Donnie: Why?
Melanie: It's demeaning.
Donnie: Stay a minute.
Melanie: No, I can't.
Donnie: I demand.
Melanie: No, I can't.
Donnie: Who's my lawyer?
Melanie: Giuliani!
Donnie: I am dead.
Melanie: Yes, in bed.
Donnie: Bon voyage.
Melanie: So I'm going.
Donnie: Goodbye.
Melanie: You're angry.
Donnie: No.
Melanie: I've got to.
Donnie: Right.
Melanie: It's the sane thing
Donnie: Go.
Melanie: That's not to say...
That if you pay...
Oh well, I guess, OK.
Donnie: What?
Melanie: I'll stay.
Donnie: But... oh God!
Russian Foreign Minister Sergei
Lavrov says his mother taught him that sharing private conversations
is “indecent.”
“We would like to hope that things
won’t come to such situations in our bilateral relations, which
already have plenty of quite serious problems,” Kremlin
spokesperson Dmitry Peskov told reporters Friday in a conference
call, Bloomberg reported.
