№ 692.5: EXTRA! Donnie And Melanie Splitting?

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(with apologies to Stephen Sondheim)

WHITE HOUSE SECOND BEST BED (September 29)

Donnie: Who's my lawyer?
Melanie: Giuliani.
Donnie: Oh.
Melanie: He's corrupt.
Donnie: Daddy was a Mafiosi?
Melanie: They all say so.
Donnie: No!
Melanie: He's corrupt.

Melanie: Now you're worried.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
Melanie: Yes, you are.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
They can't touch me.
Melanie: See, you're angry.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
Melanie: Yes, you are.
Donnie: No, I'm not.
I will get off...Stay.
Melanie: I'm leaving.
Donnie: Why?
Melanie: You're all nuts.
Donnie: Stay.
Melanie: I have to-
Both: -Go
Melanie: -I know-
Both: Giuliani.

Donnie: Look, you're a very special girl,
Not just overnight.
No, you're a very special girl,
And not because you're bright...
Not just because you're bright.
You're just a very special girl...Stormy!
Melanie: Melanie!
Donnie: Melanie!
Melanie: Thank you.

Donnie: Whatcha thinking?
Melanie: Giuliani.
Donnie: Oh.
Melanie: He's unclean.
Donnie: Stay a minute.
Melanie: I don't want to.
Donnie: Why?
Melanie: It's demeaning.

Donnie: Stay a minute.
Melanie: No, I can't.
Donnie: I demand.
Melanie: No, I can't.
Donnie: Who's my lawyer?
Melanie: Giuliani!
Donnie: I am dead.
Melanie: Yes, in bed.
Donnie: Bon voyage.
Melanie: So I'm going.

Donnie: Goodbye.
Melanie: You're angry.
Donnie: No.
Melanie: I've got to.
Donnie: Right.
Melanie: It's the sane thing
Donnie: Go.
Melanie: That's not to say...
That if you pay...
Oh well, I guess, OK.
Donnie: What?
Melanie: I'll stay.
Donnie: But... oh God!