Monday, September 9, 2019

№ 678: Mr. Trump's Neighbor Hoods

Trump Cancels Peace Talks With Taliban Leaders and Afghan President

President tweets that secret meeting at Camp David is off after a Taliban bomb attack in Kabul



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DEPARTMENT OF WISHFUL THINKING (September 8)

(with apologies to Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick)

I shall meet with Afghan Taliban 
E-ven-tu-al-ly
When things are calm
and they promise to not bring a bomb
since there's nothing I really stand for
I'll say “Yes” and I'll roll on the floor

I'll be quiet and meek
Kiss the ring of whatever sheikh
I'm great with whores
but not so with wars
I'm gonna meet with Afghan Taliban
Just ask me

Afghan women repress
I don't care I don't wear a dress
I kinda like
a gal in distress
I'm gonna meet with Afghan Taliban

I know they'll like me
with tyrants liking me is likely
so I'll withdraw all troops and be on my way
I do not care if there's the devil to pay

No more having to moan
about fighting in foreign lands
Why should I care
for Afghanistan
I do not have any golf courses there
I am not wary
I'll meet with Afghan Taliban

It's my pres-id-en-cy
I will do as I choose
No Congress, no courts
I never lose
I'm gonna meet with Afghan Taliban

If they ignore me
I'll still have Kim who just adores me
He'll sell them missiles but I still won't attack
People like me invite a knife in the back

FAKE NEWS papers take note
Here's a statement that you'll misquote
If your real world
is all in your head
sooner than late you get real people dead
I'm very scary
I'll meet with Afghan Taliban