№ 767.2: EXTRA! Light Dawns At THE JOURNAL?

The Fall of Donald Trump’s Fixers (Paywall)

The mogul-turned-president has long relied on loyalists to push the limits in defense of his image, but Roy Cohn, David Pecker and Michael Cohen all wound up out in the cold

For decades, Donald Trump has depended on loyalists to take care of especially sensitive and difficult tasks. . . .including the Red-baiter Roy Cohn, the tabloid publisher David Pecker and the lawyer Michael Cohen. . .They pledged fealty to Mr. Trump and dedicated themselves to shielding him. . . .But Mr. Trump ultimately offered little back in protection or respect.

. . .after Cohn became sick with AIDS in the 1980s, Mr. Trump distanced himself, steering business elsewhere. . . .in 2016, Mr. Trump told friends at Mar-a-Lago, his Florida resort, that after hosting the dying Cohn for dinner there, “I had to spend a fortune to fumigate all the dishes and silverware.”

Mr. Cohen was charged with campaign-finance violations and is serving three years in prison. Mr. Pecker’s company, American Media Inc., admitted breaking the law while doing Mr. Trump’s bidding and reached an agreement with prosecutors to avoid criminal charges.

These operatives were attracted to Mr. Trump’s aura, to the force of the huge personality that led him to the presidency. But when they had fulfilled their missions, they were dispensable.

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REALITY BYTES (January 11)


(with apologies to Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein II)

Damn ol’ Don-man

dat Damn ol’ Don-man 

he ain’t nutin’

but a con man

he's jes keeps slitherin’

he keeps on slitherin’ along

He steals millions

he cheats civilians

sumptin’ ‘bout him

seems reptilian

but Damn ol’ Don-man

he jes keeps slitherin’ along

His lawyers lie

and go t’ jail

or die of AIDS

his “friends” make bail

The GOP 

still hangs on

purty soon

the country’s gone

We gits weary

o’ his lyin’

even JOURNAL’s

past denyin’

but damn ol’ Don-man

he jes keeps slitherin’ along

[updated 1/11/2020 11:56 am to add music credit inadvertently left out]

№ 767.1: EXTRA! The End Of Boeing (or when the suits went marching on)

NEWS ANALYSIS

‘I Honestly Don’t Trust Many People at Boeing’: A Broken Culture Exposed

A trove of internal employee communications shows that the aviation giant’s troubles go beyond one poorly designed plane.

Stan Sorscher, a former Boeing engineer who then worked with a union representing company engineers, said priorities had shifted over the past two decades, with profits mattering more than quality.

“Engineers normally just don’t talk that way,” Mr. Sorscher said of the messages. “It’s not the company I knew.”

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EVERY CORNER OFFICE (January 11)

(with apologies to Stephen Sondheim)

That was the plan all along
to build the world's
great-est aer-o-planes
and not to focus of short term gains
That's what you did at Boeing
It's not that nothing went wrong
In engineering
things always do
but we could fix them
because we knew 
that's what you did at Boeing
But then the suits got all pissed
and insisted stock price first
all the time
And they called qual control
rig-mor-ole, my God,
they were slime

The engineers went along
and they cut corners
to save a buck,
and crossed their fingers
and pushed their luck
That was the end of Boeing,
the com-pan-y's swan song
You were a great co, Boeing
Boeing's
gone

№ 767: Donnie Strikes Out At Intolerance

IMPERIAL PALACE (January 9)

WHY IS IT ALL RIGHT TO HATE NAZIs?

They are just people like us.

Okay, (maybe) they DO HAVE a few queer ideas. . .

but, really, why all the fuss?

It is not as if they were Liberals.

Or atheist-socialist-swine.

Some of my best friends are NAZIs.

I get along with them fine.

I remember Vatican Catholics

converting TRUE CHRISTIANS to smoke.

Long ago. Way back in the past.

Today, it's like a joke.

NAZIs aren't Muslims or Mexicans. 

(Let alone scum from Iran.)

NAZIs make outstanding citizens.
Zey vill do vell in our “clan”!

I hate this whole damned PC business,

being told what it's NOT RIGHT think.

If I were not pure (and a Diet Coke^® guy),

it might even drive me to drink.

№ 766: “Knees”-capped By H. Saps.

LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY (January 8)

Our Neanderthal cousins
were, perhaps, too adapted
to Europe's repeating ice ages.

They gathered. They hunted.
They spoke. They grunted.
They lived to old and ripe ages
of forty or fifty
which was pretty nifty, considering
what they had to contend with:
poor food, no housing,
lack of delousing
and rather few people who 
they could be friends with.

As much prey as predator,
they could not get credit or
depend on a “nanny” state.
When they were unable
to put food on their table, 
it was each other they ate.

They used tools and fire
and aspired to art
with paintings and etchings in caves.
We can not dismiss them
as primevalists —
they buried their dead
with respect in graves.

Then Saps. arrived.
“Knees” took a nosedive.
Their time had come to an end. With 
“Knee” genes surviving in Saps. DNA, 
we see Saps. tended to “blend” with 
their lower brow kin. With 
typical Saps. insouciance,
saying, “Okay, babe, 
how ’bout we ‘dance’?” 

Had “Knees” beat out Saps., 
you would see, perhaps, 
less emphasis now upon sex.
In a cold climate a species
restricts their breeding to the few days preceding
the season assuring sufficient nutrition
during gestation and post-parturition.

With once-a-year mating, “Knees” could never compete
against Saps. who would rather screw you than eat.

№ 765: The Age Of Trumpocrassy

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THE IMPERIAL PALACE (January 7)

(with apologies to James Rado, Gerome Ragni and Galt MacDermot) 

When a goon bestrode the White House
and he banned electric cars
to ap-pease the car-bon lobby
and cli-mate sci-ence was out-lawed
That was the dawning of the Age of Trumpocrassy
the Age of Trumpocrassy
Trumpocrassy
Trumpocrassy

Bible study notwithstanding,
double-dealing was astounding
golden, grafting politicians
on their phony Christian missions
who with-out hesitation
created white men-only nation
Trumpocrassy
Trumpocrassy

№ 764: Our Place In The Universe (a cheery thought for a dreary time)

HERE AND NOW (January 6)

The Universe is a very big place.
It does not know we are here.
Far from caring how we are faring —
or what we're wearing — there is a glaring
lack of concern. The Universe cannot discern
if we are thriving or about to “adjourn” —
as all things must must sooner or later,
with or without a meteor crater.

№ 763: Two Questions

THE FOG (January 5)

Which enemy general killed more Americans:
Suleimani? Robert E. Lee?
Name the greater terrorist state:
Islamic Republic? Confederacy?

An enemy far away is a threat.
So is an enemy near.
That some see fit to celebrate it 
seems, to me, just a bit queer.

№ 762.3: EXTRA! End Time?

THE UNCOMMONWEALTH OF TRUMPMANIA (January 5)

Everyone tired of winning, hands up:
right arm, palm open of course.
Even if you are not yet tired,
you wanna show the doubters who's boss
of all bosses, king of the heap,
the best ever, the finest
and never some creep that peeped
backstage in dressing rooms
at pageants he ran
(with his bew-t-fool hair
and his gorgeous tan),
who is such a great president
in ways that are vital
that I've heard many suggesting
retiring the title
and dispensing fourthwife fourthwidth forklift FORTHWITH!
with elections and they're accompanying strife
and declaring me president
for the rest of the life
of the planet, 
which I think is fair
because without me here
why would anyone care
to live on
but just to make certain
I'm arranging the fall
of THE FINAL CURTAIN.