Monday, August 17, 2020

923: The Conservative MANifesto

 ON YOUR MARX GET SO (August 16) —

NOTHING! whatever is wrong with the country.

Everything’s just peachy-keen.

We just need to fiddle a bit in the middle …

if you get what we mean?  


There is the question of women’s “rights” …

don’t get us wrong we love our women.

We will not neglect them. We will protect them.

We’ll keep ’em in bed- AND table linen.


Then there’s the issue of “rights” for minorities —

all those non-White or unChristian.

We don’t see “races”. They have their places.

In their assigned, lower positions. 


SCOTUS is right. Business is people.

And, yes, they give us donations.

BUT, unlike individuals, they should not be subject

to laws or controls or regulations. 


A sperm and an egg. One person or two?

We will protect the unborn.

All fertile women will give birth once a month.

(Talk of your “maiden all forlorn”!) 


Of course, we support two party democracy —

well, perhaps, one-and-a-half.

Between ourselves and Kanye West

we’ve got you covered. All else is chaff.  


Church and State must be kept separate.

With OUR Church ensconced on top.

All other “faiths” will be forbidden,

their believers leaving or compelled to swap.

 

Guns are not cars. Or dogs. Or marriage.

No license for guns shall be required.

Unlike those things, guns are quite safe, 

and, as with wives, they can be fired.  

 

Criminal activity will be prohibited.

We will strongly enforce all the laws

that we agree with and that do not interfere

with our doing whatever we want just because. 


By conceiving ourselves as God’s Only Party,

we believe we’ll achieve everlasting authority.

The vast majority, however, we note

does not share our view. They must not vote.


We have the answer to every question

whether you like it or not.

If you can’t accept this God's honest TRUTH,

you will be frog-marched outside and shot.