907.1: EXTRA! Revelation

BIGGER NUMBERS (July 24) —

Donald J. Trump has a very big brain

inside of his great big fat head.

And did I mention his genius penis?

Which all who know him have come to dread.

Nothing about him has ever been sickly

and though his temper can sometimes seem prickly

with Big Mac and Coke he recovers quickly

to as he once was, but without bone spurs.

Person, woman, man, camera, TV.

Donald's decreed His New Trinity.

It's bigger. It's better. It's less contrived.

It is so Donald and three's less than five.

907: For Immediate Release?

Judge orders Michael Cohen's prison release after government ‘retaliation’

Trump’s ex-fixer sued federal prison officials and Barr on Monday, saying he was ordered back because he was writing a book

ANY DAY NOW (July 23) —

What is the point of being emperor

if you can't lock up people arousing your temper?

It is not as if I chopped off his head.

(Though I wouldn't mind if he turned up dead.)

I am sick of books smearing the my family name.

It is not endearing that my loony niece

will not let my dear dead dad Fred rest in peace

because I tried to screw her out of her share.

I gotta sue her. Sooner or later.

After I've dealt with Cohen. THE TRAITOR!

He helped build my facade of legitimacy.

No criminal acts can be tracked back to me.

I am not afraid. Rats do not scare me.

Hire “house painter”? Call Giuliani.

I heard you paint houses. — Jimmy Hoffa

906: From The Society For The Preservation Of Viruses — Donald J. Trump, Honorary Executive Chairman (or The Enemy Within)

EVERYWHERE (July 22) —

We are unprotected and adversely affected

by sun, soap suds, and water,

which, either alone or in combination,

can lead to our indiscriminate slaughter.

We are ubiquitous

in a world unfriendly to us.

Though we seem callous,

we bear you no malice.

All we ask

is, “Give us a chance.”

At night, gather tight, without a mask

and, please, please, please, don't wash your hands.

I characterize myself as a realist. — Anthony Fauci, MD

905: The Gospel According To GOP (or get me rewrite)

SINCE WISHES ARE ELEPHANTS (July 21) —

We Republicans, try as we might,

can not make Ayn Rand into Jesus.

Although we’d love to we can not because

“Atheist Ayn” was a free-love extremist.

In order to salvage our Trump-damaged brand,

we have change Jesus into Ayn Rand.

To hell with free loavers! To perdition free fishers!

It’s supply and demand. (Which the marketplace wishes.)

Let the poor starve. Ignore the lame.

Such loafers have only themselves to blame.

We hold peacemakers blessed, we MEN of action.

“Peacemakers”, you know? The Colt Single Action.

Click

904: Yes, We Have No

HERE AND NOW (July 20) —

With global warming storming reality,

with climate conforming to tropicality,

with Trump's COVID-19 response nonchalance,

with the whole world going to hell all at once,

with high hurricane season nearly upon us,

with vote suppression forcing four more years on us,

with fields of grain replaced by banana plantations,

with our becoming a pariah nation,

with his leading us where we once would not stomach,

Donnie made us a banana republic.

No, don't hope — I wouldn't hope if I were you.

— Brandon Thomas, Charley's Aunt

903.1: EXTRA! We Interrupt Our Country . . .

Trump consults Bush torture lawyer on how to skirt law and rule by decree

• John Yoo wrote memo used to justify waterboarding
• Trump keen to use executive orders and circumvent Congress

John Yoo told Axios he has been talking to White House officials about his view that a recent supreme court ruling on immigration would allow Trump to issue executive orders that flout federal law.

In a Fox News Sunday interview, Trump declared he would try to use that interpretation to try to force through decrees on healthcare, immigration and “various other plans” over the coming month.

A REPUBLIC IF YOU CAN KEEP IT; and good luck with that (July 20) —

Sit back. Relax. The sky is NOT falling.

Turns out it was never there.

Like the whatchamacallit, the Constitution?

(Or, for all that, “gods” who “hear” prayers.)

All there has ever been is THE STRONG MAN, 

the glorious leader who,

can do whatever, whenever he likes
per tortuous logic spewed by John Yoo.

The valiant CAPTAIN commanding the crew

of lesser beings who’ll do as they’re told,

who’ll follow orders,

their brains all moldy, shot full of holes.

From watching FOX and listening to Limbaugh

their souls have become fascistic scrimshaw.

Take “Congress” and “Courts” to the town dump.

Bow down before the Mighty God Trump.

903: Our Lovely Little Plague (a worst case scenario)

PAST PRISM (July 19) —

The thing no one at all understands,

whether they lean left or right,

either the end of the world is at hand

or it just hove into sight.

A third of the world's people may die —

that's what pandemics can do

when measures against them are insufficient

and incompetent “leaders” haven't a clue.

That little thing back in 1918?

Expired three percent of the globe.

Coronavirus, I fear, aspires

to emulate one of the Great Plagues of old.

One thing is certain:

we've not learned a thing.

Prepare for the curtain,

bada-boom, bada-bing.

Against stupidity the very gods

Themselves contend in vain.

— Friedrich Schiller,
The Maid of Orleans