№ 467: Sustainability Overruled!

Foreign Policy: Why Growth Can’t Be Green (Bypass subscription stuff to read article)

New evidence suggests that green growth isn’t the panacea everyone has been hoping for. In fact, it isn’t even possible.

BUT. . .if we really try,
surely we can
come up with something.
We are God's plan!

If God's people can't,
perhaps scientists
can make sure the species
will somehow persist.

After all,
we are the point.
Why God (or Nature)
created this joint.

It couldn't be,
in any event,
that Nature thinks us
irrelevant.

Are we not blessed?
(Or, at worst, Earth's curse?)
Are we NOT the reason
for the Universe?!

You don't mean however much
some of us rant,
we won't save the planet
because we can't?

DAMN!

№ 466: Donald Pan

(with apologies to Moose Charlap and Carolyn Leigh and children everywhere)


Email subscribers click here. (Youtube “stop” code does not work for this link. Parody lyrics end at 1:36. See blog for trimmed video.)

I'm lying.

Like Roy Cohn always taught

always lie you won't get caught.

I'm lying.

I'm lying.

CNN can't see me

and I own GOP.

I'm flying.

I watch only FOX 'coz it's fact free

and that is why our fans love me.

I'm lying.

Watch me now build my wall.

“Number one”, fun for all.

The white working class

love me, bet your ass

I'm lying.

I'll fly Air Force One straight into space.

I dream of Ivanka all dressed in lace.

I'm lying.

Easier than Vlad thought

democracy is untaught.

I just wink and smile.

Republicans Sieg Heil!
and say, “Remember when. . ."

and then in a little while

it's dying.

№ 465: Winter Of Our President

Dark days are coming

and it is clear

it isn’t just

time of the year.

Dark days are coming,

dark times ahead.

Is there a reason

to get out of bed?

There is the matter

of your full bladder

and it is getting on

time for your meds.

So move your ass,

reach for your glasses,

turn on the TV,

see who's newly dead.

№. 464.1: EXTRA! White House Coo Coup (another one, yawn)

WSJ: Trump Weighs Replacing Chief of Staff John Kelly in White House Shake-Up

West Wing considers high-level shakeup as it prepares for final two years of first term

“This is how the president works,” one White House official said. “He’s doused a bunch of people in gasoline and he’s waiting for someone to light a match.”

Oh, how I wish I were MBS.

Then I would respond to unpleasantness

with a simple instruction, “Off with his head!”

Must it be this hard to make someone dead?

Not necessarily ACTUALLY dead.

Just make them go away instead.

It makes me weary, weary and tired,

to tell General Kelly who's to be fired.

Can't do it myself — too conscious-stricken.

And, truth to tell, I'm a big chicken.

Clucking and fussing, I am a mess.

I'm in a permanent state of distress.

Can I bring back Jeff Sessions, my sweet Keebler elf?

Must I tell Kelly to go fire himself?

№ 464: No Rhymes For A Reason (perverse and free)

Guardian: Crown Prince’s wings clipped as Khashoggi death rattles Riyadh

“He’d seen Abu Ghraib, renditions, death penalties, and he felt comforted by Trump. He could not understand why this was happening to him.”

* * *

“Sure, that's what I mean,” Doc Daneeka said. “A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.”

Yossarian knew what he meant.

“That's not what I meant,” Doc Daneeka said, as Yossarian began scratching his back.

― Joseph Heller, Catch 22

To: Jared@whitehouse.gov
From: MBS@MBS.MBS
Subject: WTF!

Yo bro,

You come into my house 
on the day my daughter 
is to be married  
complaining I did a murder?

Kid-ding! 
I'm thirty-three. 
My daughter — 
if I have a daughter — 
is too young 
to marry off 
to my brother's son. 

We're waiting 

till they're ten. 

Can't start 

planning succession 
too early.
Know what I mean? 

Great flick, 
Godfather. 
So many life lessons. 
You kiss my “ring”, 
I kiss yours? 
Know what I mean?

But seriously, Jarhead — 
you don't mind 
I call you Jarhead?

Okay, okay, USMC 
might have a problem. 
Pussy 🐱 like you 
called by their nickname. . .

But what's the deal here? 
I off a news guy —
a friggin' news guy! — 
and everyone gets upset? 
You're upset. 
The big guy. . .
Really big. 239? 
That's a joke, right? 
I mean, 239? 
He dresses like me  maybe —
MAYBE! — 
he pulls it off. 
But a polo shirt? 
(Great game, polo. 
You play?) 
Come on. 
(If he wants some thawbs, 
I can get him a deal. 
Better than this Amazon shit. 
Headgear different from KKK, 
but otherwise. . .
And, man, 
does it does hide the pounds.) 
He's upset? 
Putin poisons people 
and that's okay 
but I cut off Khashoggi's head  
there's hell to pay? 

You guys never complained 
about women and kids 
I bomb the shit out of in Yemen. 
You maybe would be happier if 
I used U.S. Steel to cut heads 
like I use U.S. bombs? 
Besides, we strangled 
the sonofabitch first, 
fer crissake. 
PBUH. 
(Sorry. 
Forgot. 
Jesus is not your guy. 
No joke, you all look alike. 
No kike, you all joke alike? 
Sorry, dude.😊) 

Help me out here. 
I need the rule book. 
I thought we had this thing, 
you and me.
I am so disappointed.☹☹
Know what I mean?

WHAT PART OF 
“ABSOLUTE FUCKING MONARCHY” 
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? 
We ain't no girlie 
Mafia Joisey construction crew 
like maybe you're used to.

Is it because I'm an A-rab? 
That's racist, man.
Love to Ivanka. 
Know what I mean?😜

Best,
MBS (PBUM)

№ 463: Raindrops Not Fallin' On MY Head

Politico: Trump’s rain decision casts dark clouds over his Paris trip

'Those veterans the president didn’t bother to honor fought in the rain, in the mud, in the snow,' John Kerry writes.

“If Dems can’t figure out how to make hay for days out of Trump not visiting military cemetery on anniversary of conclusion of WWI because of a little rain ... while other leaders attend ... they really don’t deserve to win in 2020,” said Tucker Martin, a former adviser to the Republican Governors Association who also ran communications for Gov. Chris Christie’s Super PAC in 2016.

Of course, I acknowledge unpayable debts*

all of us owe U.S. World War I vets.

(Who, I heard, died reclaiming French land

from my ancestor Germans. But I understand.

I, myself, was once all set to serve

until the draft board, I gue$$, lo$t their nerve.

FIVE TIME$ they decided I'd be deferred!

Me! A poor $tudent. A geniu$. Bone-$purred.)

It's not I don't honor battle-dead vets. . .

(With dew respect, I dasn't get my hair wet

because it's so thin. Whenever it rains

I worry water will seep into my brains.

Yes, I said BRAINS! Mine have extra parts.

That is why I am so smart.)

(I prefer “heroes” not killed or captured†.

And living suckers over those “raptured”.

All us great leaders are pickers and choosers.

And we don't choose dead, low-energy losers!)

________________

*On the campaign trail, Donald Trump has said dealing with the nation’s $18 trillion debt will be easy. One reason: Trump could just choose to ignore it. That appears to be how Trump has dealt with some of the debt on his own balance sheet. — Fortune, March 23, 2016

†Appearing on Saturday at the Family Leadership Summit in Ames, Iowa, the real estate mogul took his running feud with Arizona Sen. John McCain to a new level. 

“He’s not a war hero,” said Trump. “He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”  —  POLITICO, 7/19/2015