No. 227.2: EXTRA! Munich To Our Ears

With his insisting Vlad's such a jolly good fella

one almost expects Trump to tote an umbrella

and wave empty pledges like Chamberlain did

while Vlad “destroys” kompromat in this sad quid pro quid.

As to his umbrella, come shine or come rain,

Don'll duck under it as Vlad seizes Ukraine.

This fraught buddyship may turn a bit rockier

like Adolf's and Neville's after Czechoslovakia.

No. 227.1: EXTRA! What's That I Spy With My Little Eye? Problems At (With?) The FBI?

A review of the texts between senior FBI agent Peter Strzok and senior FBI lawyer Lisa Page were sent to lawmakers Tuesday night...and they show the senior officials repeatedly offering harsh opinions about political figures. Among many other comments, the two called Trump “an idiot.”

During the Clinton [email server] investigation, Strzok was involved in a romantic relationship with Page...

— WaPo: FBI texts reveal anti-Trump, pro-Clinton comments (Paywall)

Now this is REAL news!

Ho-ly Cow! Go friggin' figure!

The FBI's a hot bed (literally)

of left-wing intrigue.

Who wudda thunk,

who cudda foresaw,

this one-time paragon

of order and law

would come to harbor

Liberal jackdaws,

poking beaks

into Donald's affairs.

(If they ain't careful,

they're gonna get theirs!)

Putin's refutin' FBI lies

that his FSB comprised 
presidential election.

Now there's a surprise!

A guy like Vlad

would surely own up

if Donald asked,

“Yo, bro, 'sup?”

Mueller and cronies,

are like kids lookin'

for Xmas ponies.

(That's an old joke.

Google it, homies!)

Keeping up with this

is gettin' fatiguin'.

Still ya want 'em t'

go on lookin', keep diggin',

even if as a consequence

we end up with President Pence with

whom we'll also hafta dispense with.

[12/15/2017, 12:40 pm EST: WaPo link corrected]

No. 227: Crystal Balls

When “EXPERTS” insist they know where they're going. . .

RELAX! That's just their hubris showing.

On future events it is pointless to dwell.

With present and past it's too early to tell.

Wherever we are, wherever we've been,

whatever the who, what, where, why and when,

we, even now, never know how

to ever know anything, anywhere, anyhow!

No.226.2: EXTRA! Putin Speaking Power To Truth

Russia's president has accused opponents of his US counterpart Donald Trump of harming the US by "inventing stories" about contacts with Russia.

— BBC: Putin: Trump opponents harm US with 'invented' Russia scandal

I was young spy in KGB,

running agents my specialty.

I am smart man, I am not schlump.

If I elect president I do not elect Trump.

Trump is tough, crafty and sly.

Why would I choose that kind of guy?

I prefer patsy, narcissist fool,

somebody I could easily school.

Here's the thing is, why would I lie?

You believe me or FBI?

Reports are fake, news they are not.

If reporters were Russian, they would be shot.

No. 226.1: EXTRA! The Gift Of The #MAGAs

Make America Go Again?

(Put on a Broadway show again.)

Make America Gape Again?

(Entertain to escape again.)

Make America Grasp Again?

(Let businessmen cut union tasks again.)

Make America Gaze Again?

(At waves of amber grain again.)

Make America Glory Again?

(Change the American story again.)

Make America Glisten Again?

(Too gay? Maybe listen again?)

Make Alaska Russian Again?

(That's an “R”, not a “G”, but do it for me.

I owe it to Vlad, my best ever friend.)

Make America Grope Again?

(Undo Obama's “hope” regimen.)

Make America Giggle Again?

(Be fodder for late night TV. AGAIN!)

Make America Gloat Again?

(We never stop. We're always on top!)

Make America Glow Again?

(In the dark. Nukes! What a lark.)

Make America Govern Again?

(NO! That's Dem!

Not us! That's THEM!)

Make America Groan Again?

(Deregulate savings and loan again.)

Make America Grumble Again?

(A question, always, of not if, but when.)

Make American Gamble Again?

(Easy-peasy, they elected* me.)

Make America Gallop Again?

(But to be sure

not with Judge Moore.

That was Steve Bannon

who missed all the clues.

Inside my head, 

I said he'd lose.)

Make America Gag Again?

(By my never knowing when to say when.)

Make Afghanistan Go Away.

—————————

*Well, really, not actually.

No. 226: If I Were A Mayfly

Nature's perfection:

the adult mayfly.

In one day they mate,
lay eggs and die.

Unlike us,
who live many seasons
being ridiculous,
searching for reasons,
wasting time
pursuing rhyme.

Someday, perhaps 

someone wiser than I

may turn me 

into a mayfly,
avoiding annoying
juvenile stages,
bypassing normal
hormonal rages.

Youth, I believe,

is never good

and even a mayfly may have
an unhappy childhood.

No. 225.2: EXTRA! Trump's Polar Last Resort

burning clean coal

advances my goal

growing peaches

on beaches

at my North Pole

oil field golf course

and sport resort

the entertainment

part of the deal

Don Jr. 

harpoons a

humongous whale

while Eric clubs 

a live baby seal

Ivanka's designer polar bear rugs

provide comfy places for kisses and hugs

(and dare I hope groping asses and juggs)

No. 225.1: EXTRA! Alabama Results (a temporary GOP setback)

With Roy Moore at last in the past,

having succeeded in defeating this creep,

Democrats, exhausted, en masse

close their eyes and go back to sleep.

While Bannon, Trump and their GOP

lick wounds and nurture their hurt,

Democrats resuming complacency,

sit back and burp after dessert.

Winning or losing Republicans always

continue planning and scheming.

Losing Dems spend days in hazes

and after winning, preening.

For Dems, a win means they’re in clover.

Win or lose, GOP knows it’s never over.

No. 225: The Symbols Clang

And lo, it came to pass

the “Democrat” Party's symbol's an ass,

which, as they taught us in school,

is certainly not the same as a mule.

Mules are born sterile.

When unattended, asses go feral.

And could it be relevant

the Republican Party's symbol's the elephant,

which in a blink

could go extinct,

for Republican celebrants

live to shoot elephants?

No. 224.2: EXTRA! A Steve Bannon Canon

Is there any question of white male supremacy?

And wherefore this outcry from femininity?

Should these give us pause, disrupt our cause  —

why should we account for where we place our paws?

'Tis the law of Nature — land, air and sea! —

the superior stature of masculinity.

Saying some other “race” could ever keep pace

with white Christian males, is, well, a disgrace!

Jeffersonian nonsense, his “created equal”,

has led to this present unhappy sequel

where women, Asians, Latinos, blacks

demand equal access. We have to fight back.

Go on the attack, prove we have what they lack.

Our innate ability to ignore civility,

our white-male-privileged freedom from culpability

provide us the tools to dispense with these fools.

(And if that doesn't work, then we'll change the rules.)

No. 224.1: EXTRA! Trump, Only Moore So

Would Moore win

unmoor Constitution,

rewarding Moore sin

be moreover unchristian?

No. 224: Back To The Vatican

While Pope Francis preaches interfaith mingling,

many a Cardinal's gathering kindling

to reignite instantly heretic pyres

the moment that Pope Francis expires.

No. 223.1: EXTRA! Alabama Election Special — Theme From Mondo Trumpy

Moore is the greatest judge the South has known.
Moore is the judge who can't leave girls alone.
Moore knows for damn sure what Commandments say.
Moore, irregardless, always has his way.
Moore, who would always say he'd asked for their Moms' okay.
Moore could get very creepy when plied with wine young girls got sleepy.
Moore, Trump assures us, is just peachy fine. Largely because he really loves his crime.
Moore is an ordure of manure, I am very, very sure
No one should vote for Roy Moore.

No. 223: All's Hell That Pretends Well. . .and

I find it odd 
folks buy the facade
and see DJT as if he were god.
This cheating, philandering, serial liar,
[Dampen his pants to extinguish the fire!]
who thinks he rates a gold heavenly choir?!
Bankrupt sex offender! What IS there to admire?

Direct him, I say, to the next exit ramp.

Tell him, “Give up the ghost, man. Depart. Decamp!

Dude, you are so past your “Best Before: ” date stamp!
———————————————————————————Schleppingly On The Tongue

“Gad blesh th' Hew-Nigh-Dead Schtaetz!”

#Make Americans Schlur Ther Schpeech.

Did Navajos teach him how to talk code?
Is his brain about to implode?
Has be become allergic to gluten?
Ish thhiiss a seagret meshage for Putin?