Friday, May 31, 2019

№ 607.1: EXTRA! Is That A Gun In Your Pocket (or are you just glad to see me?)

South Korean paper claims Kim Hyok-chol has been killed and senior negotiator Kim Yong-chol subjected to forced labour

TRUMPLAND, May 31

And you wonder why
I love this guy
and moreover why
he loves me?
His folks for him
are glad to die
just as mine would for me.
(If I set them the task
and had someone ask.)
True blood brothers
are we, Kim and me.
True blood brothers are we.

Nothing can shame us.
We are both famous.
Those who dare blame us
are ignoramuses.
I get inspired
when I say, “You're fired!”
Kim follows suit
and actually shoots.

What now should I say
to Bolton and Pompeo?
“If you two can't deliver
some real diplo clout,
I'll have you shot
and taken out!?”

№ 607: Microcosmic

RAPA NUI, May 30

Making Moai on Rapa Nui
worked for a bit
the turned kerflooey
destroying society
which was a shame
for had they but waited
they’d have had Europe to blame.

One thing consistent
in human construction:
our unerring tendency
toward destruction.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

№ 606.1: EXTRA! Trump This!

President tweeted he ‘had nothing to do with Russia helping me get elected’, then retracted it: ‘Russia did not help me’

TRUMPWORLD, May 30

When I said Russia helped me.
I really meant they did not.
Gott im Himmler above protect me.
It's part of a Democrat plot.
As a matter of fact
my Twitter was hacked
to make me seem senile.
(Plus Putin finding my
being venal congenial.)

№ 606: Get Real

IMAGINE, May 29

Given a choice, we ignore fact and pick fiction to an excessive extent.
That people prefer James Bond to George Smiley is not an accident.
Granted, of course, neither James nor George actually ever existed.
The point that I'd make: our preference for fake means reality is always resisted.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

№ 605.1: EXTRA! Ho Hum (another day at the Oval Orifice)

Bannon described Trump Organization as 'criminal enterprise', Michael Wolff book claims

Former White House adviser says financial investigations will take down president in sequel to Fire and Fury

The former White House adviser Steve Bannon has described the Trump Organization as a criminal entity and predicted that investigations into the president’s finances will lead to his political downfall, when he is revealed to be “not the billionaire he said he was, just another scumbag”.

The startling remarks are contained in Siege: Trump Under Fire, the author Michael Wolff’s forthcoming account of the second year of the Trump administration.

THE NEW IMPROVED SWAMP, May 29

Now let us handle 
another Trump scandal.
(He'll say it's “very unfair”.)
Say what you will
about this shrill shill,
you have to admit
he's got some pair.

Away to the dumpster
with Cosa Trumpster.
Break out all the sump pumps.
Vaccinate everyone
against Trump Mumps.
Call it THE POX.
(Except on FOX.)

Crime, if you please,
is Trump's “family” disease.
Did Junior sneeze?
Did Eric wheeze?
Ivanka, as always,
cannot be appeased.

I mean Geez Louise,
high time we stopped 
being chumps
dump all the Trumps,
get off the fence,
with sad reluctance
inaugurate Pence
and speak of liberty
in the past tense. 

[updated 5/29/2019 12:40 pm]

№ 605: The Fault By Default

Scientists say surge of radiation led to lightning causing forest fires, making adaptation vital

It was the evolutionary leap that defined the species: while other apes ambled around on all fours, the ancestors of humans rose up on two legs and, from that lofty position, went on to conquer the world.

The benefits of standing tall in the African savannah are broadly nailed down, but what prompted our distant forebears to walk upright is far from clear. Now, in a radical proposal, US scientists point to a cosmic intervention: protohumans had a helping hand from a flurry of exploding stars, they say.

REGRETTABLY, May 28

It is not our fault: the fact that we're plods.
Nor was this caused by one of the Gods. 
Not Yahweh or Juno, not Venus or Mars.
The fault, dear Brutus, IS in our stars.
(I said all along, Shakespeare was wrong!)

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

№ 604: Closing Argument (a stump speech)

CAMPAIGN, May 27

There is but one way
for us to proceed.
Do it my way.
We will succeed.

I tell you the truth,
citing the facts.
All of the rest?
Political hacks.

I’m for the people,
not the “elites”,
not lazy slackers,
liars and cheats.

We are the good guys,
honest and just.
I am on your side,
in us we trust.

The solution is simple.
You and I know it.
Misfits and nitwits
of course oppose it.

You know, my friends,
what I represent.
My opponents
are incompetent.

My program is detailed,
completely thought out,
cost- and pain-free,
without a doubt.

As ye sow,
ye so shall reap.
So vote for me.
Then go back to sleep.

Monday, May 27, 2019

№ 603: “Loving” Vs Virginia (Charlottesville Update)

CHARLOTTESVILLE, 1865

It is not “a hate crime” when we oppose
people who hate us like all of THOSE
we have to remind who is the boss,
“bloody their nose” with superior force
as they'd do to us given the chance
in an alternative circumstance.
We have to remind them who wears the pants.

It isn't hate that motivates us.
It isn't even dislike.
Anyone who tells you it is
is likely a “BIG CITY-type.
We know OUR LORD in heaven above
can see our hearts overflowing with love
for our families, love for our kin,
love for all Christians with HIS color skin.

What I am saying is only that I’m
certain THAT love is not a crime.

Saturday, May 25, 2019

№ 602.1: EXTRA! Separation Of Powers Ă€ La Trump

Trump Invokes Emergency Arms Sales Authority to Counter Iran



Decision to speed delivery of 22 deals worth $8 billion; opponents decry administration’s move 

WASHINGTON—The Trump administration on Friday invoked a rarely used provision of American arms control laws to sidestep Congress and authorize billions of dollars in weapons sales to Middle East allies, angering U.S. lawmakers who characterized the decision as an abuse of power.

MYWAY, May 25

This “rule of law” shit. . .
What the fuck's that about?
The way to do things
is personal clout.
My dad and Roy Cohn
both taught me and thought
there are no rules
that cannot be bought
out or ignored
or gotten round
if you bluster enough
a way can be found.

Eagles are regal.
Eagles are TRUMPs.
Rules are for seagulls
who eat trash at dumps.
Loser winged rats.
bird democrats.
(With a small “d”,
fuck democracy.)

Friday, May 24, 2019

№ 602: Donald And Donald, Donald And Donald

Trump Walks Out on Pelosi, Schumer

President rules out infrastructure deal while investigations continue; lawmakers of both parties expect legislation to move ahead


WASHINGTON—President Trump said he wouldn’t work with Democrats while investigations of him continue and abruptly ended a meeting with the party’s leaders Wednesday, casting fresh doubt on a divided Washington’s ability to complete big-ticket legislation in the next 18 months.

TRUMPLAND, May 23

Everything I have ever done,
I have done on my own.
Clearly, I don't need anyone.
I'm taking my ball and going home.

When I was a babe, just a newborn,
I said, Ma, leave me alone!
Filling my diapie is the best fun.
I'm taking my ball and going home!

Later in school I made my own rules.
I knew what I was doin'.
If some teacher or kid did not like what I did,
I took my ball and went home.

Then as a teen, I might have been mean
due to testosterone.
When some little flirt would not lift her skirt,
I did it myself and went home.

I excelled at college sharing the knowledge
for which my big brain is known.
After four years impressing my peers,
I took my degree and went home.

There was a war which I found bor-ing!
but I had some spurs on a bone.
My daddy concocted a note with a doctor,
and the draft board told me, Go home.

In Manhattan, I built many businesses.
(Daddy Fred gave me a loan.)
I was god-awful — even unlawful —
and felt completely at home.

I did deals to get rich as a son of a bitch
and learned lotsa stuff off Roy Cohn,
who, by the way, taught me to say,
Do it my way or go home.

Speaking of Roy, I was not his goy-boy.
In those things he left me alone.
To this very day I say, He wasn't gay.
And anyway, my balls were my own.

With every wife, I married for life.
(Unless she turned into a crone.)
When they got old, I heard they were told,
Mr. Trump is sending you home.

I lived in a tower, had plenty of power. . .
but I wanted a throne.
Though hesitant, I became president
making the White House my home.

I do not fancy dealing with Nancy
and hate it when Chuck starts to drone.
And both of 'em stall on building my wall,
so I'm taking my ball. . .going home.

There will come the day my gravestone will say,
He was not a John Gotti clone.
He caused a panic, being Satanic,
'til the devil welcomed him home.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

№ 601: The Devil's Hand Made Tail In GOP

Do Christians view The Handmaid's Tale 
as an instruction manual?
As true as apocalypses
foretold in Daniel*?
Do they think Dems Babaloney magicians,
hell-bent on infringing their buying munitions,
replacing sacred and holy traditions 
with secular, liberal Satanic positions?
For if they do, it would be a shame
and would give Christian religion a very bad name.
Which one could say — had one the nerve —
would be something exceeding well-earned and deserved.
(Though, to be fair — maybe waffle a smidgen —
the same can be said of every religion.)
————————————
*Also see: New World Encyclopedia

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

№ 600: Airy Stars Tittle Contemplating A Busted Homo Sapien

WHATSITALLABOUTALFIE, May 21

In those long ago days when we lived in the trees
before taking to two feet, unbending our knees,
before we thought really deep thoughts
creating conflicts between wants and oughts,
when we were conceiving what we call morality
to prove ourselves worthy of immortality,
thereby giving rise to our present modality
which, in part, overrides our prior brutality,
which allowed us to do what made us feel good
and never consider whether we should.
What pleasures we had in not thinking twice
about what we were doing not being nice.
This new cogitation caused a massive upheaval.
Theologians term this “the problem of Evil”.
Which, unless I have misunderstood,
might be termed, as well, “the problem of Good”.
“Evil” succeeds. “Good” meekly smiles and,
late or soon, gets thrown off the island.
“Evil”, to me, is how things really are.
In contrast “Good” seems entirely bizarre.
On the one hand, Mother Teresa. (Who I can't understand.)
Then on the other one, you have Ayn Rand.
One's a bestseller, the other's been sainted.
In heaven, I wonder, are they acquainted?
At afternoon tea with the rest of the ladies
do they gloat over enemies burning in Hades?
While stars supernova and galaxies whirl
what do they say to the rest of the girls?
Do they ever speak of our human dis-ease?
Do they question the wisdom of leaving the trees?

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

№ 599: Making America Dust Again

Massive Bethlehem Steel headquarters in Pennsylvania demolished in seconds: ‘It breaks my heart’ (Paywall)

By ASSOCIATED PRESS
MAY 19, 2019
BETHLEHEM, PA.

Sixteen thousand tons of Bethlehem Steel collapsed in a matter of seconds Sunday as a demolition crew imploded Martin Tower, the defunct steel maker's former world headquarters.

Crowds gathered to watch the demolition of the area's tallest building, a 21-story monolith that opened at the height of Bethlehem Steel's power and profitability but had stood vacant for a dozen years after America's second-largest steel maker went out of business.

The implosion, which took 16 seconds, created a thick plume of dust that lingered for several minutes.

Tyler Kent, whose father worked at Bethlehem Steel for 46 years and raised 11 children, said his “heart stopped” as he watched the building fall. His father and other relatives took pride in working at the industrial behemoth that armed the U.S. military and helped shape skylines across the country.

“To see it come down brought a tear to my eye. I didn't think it was going to affect me emotionally like it did, but I just can't imagine it's gone. It's so sad,” said Kent, who could see the tower from his house.

RUSTVILLE, May 20

(with a nod to T. S. Eliot)

The jobs were long gone
now the headquarters too
is reduced to a pile of rubble.
Steel, glass, concrete
are no more substantial
than an Internet bubble.

Follow men who are hollow men,
that is the way the world has to end
with BOTH a bang and a whimper.
A sad simple fact made sadder and simpler.

Monday, May 20, 2019

№ 598.1: EXTRA! The Tenderfoot Lender — Bone Spurred

Deutsche Bank staff saw suspicious Trump and Kushner activity – report 

Several financial moves by legal entities controlled by Donald Trump and Jared Kushner between 2016 and 2017 triggered suspicious activity alerts inside Deutsche Bank, a major lender to the Trump family, according to a report in the New York Times.

Suspicious activity reports were prepared for filing with the US treasury for investigation as possible federal financial crimes. According to the Times, bank executives overruled the employees and did not alert the government.

KLEPTOCRACY CITY, May 20

Add Donald to Deutsch Bank
plus Russian “unknowns”,
what do you get —
GAME OF LOANS:
laundering cash
for Vlad's oligarchs.
(Where, when we need you,
are you Karl Marx?)
Instead of due diligence,
doing their fullest,
Trump's Deutsch Bank pallies
played Sergeant Schultz. 

Email subscribers click here.

[updated 5/20/2019 5:20 p.m.]

№ 598: Shackled Ă€ Mon GoĂ»t Non Dispute Tandem

PERSONAL SPACE, May 19

Many smart people love Jell-O and liver.
Thinking of either gives me the shivers.
With either, or both, I would be loathe
to put half a teaspoon into my mouth.
On what, you may ask, is this bias based?
I'd say it's that I have very good taste.

Friday, May 17, 2019

№ 597: Life, Eh? (or Wisdom)

SOMEWHERE, May 16

When you are young
you're Cupid's dupe 
sex makes you crazy,
love makes you stupid.

Then you are old
with some sense in your head,
but before you can use it
you find yourself dead.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

№ 596.2: EXTRA! Bomb Throwers In Gilead

Legislation makes abortion a crime at any stage of pregnancy, with the only exception for a serious threat to the health of the woman

HEAVEN ON EARTH, ALABAMA, May 16

We, God's chosen, oppose abortion.
God wants these kids to be born.
From 300 million single-cell swimmers,
God points to one and a baby is born.
Though just one cell, he's a full human being,
already praying, if not yet seeing.
This is pure logic no one can escape.
God is okay with incest and rape.


Email subscribers click here.

№ 596.1: EXTRA! Pardonable (a Black day)

Trump Pardons Ex-Media Baron Conrad Black, a Former Business Partner

White House hails ‘exceptional character’ of conservative figure who left prison in 2012


WASHINGTON—President Trump pardoned a former media baron and onetime business partner convicted of fraud and obstruction of justice charges, as well as a former Republican leader in the California Legislature imprisoned for corruption.


In granting a pardon Wednesday to Lord Conrad Black, Mr. Trump cited “broad support from many high-profile individuals who have vigorously vouched for his exceptional character,” the White House said in a statement.

Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Sir Michael and Keith)

WONDERLAND, May 16

My pardon power can free anyone I choose.
No matter how they reek of crime and slime and ooze.
Conrad's my pal because we did a business deal.
That we're corrupt is just part of our appeal.

He wrote a book that says I'm a real good guy.
I have not read it but they tell me it's no lie.
I see Dems shake their heads and maybe more will run
against me now that I'm having fun.

I look inside myself and see I'm Conrad Black.
So like Roy Cohn taught me I go on the attack.
I know my friends on FOX will say, “Okay, relax.
That Black's a real big crook is just a pointless fact.”

Let Dems sip green tea and hold their pinkies up.
Let them subpoena me. Voters love me. I'm corrupt.
I took a good hard look at the eclipsing sun
and I can pardon me when impeachment comes.

My pardon power can free crooks like Conrad Black.
The Constitution's just a piece of antique bric-a-brac.
Just as with women I say, “Now take off your clothes.”
The country's over now. That's the way it goes.

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

I want to see Conrad free, Conrad back
Black is white, that's my goal
I want to see democracy, blotted out from the sky
I want to see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

№ 596: How It Is



In combating this increase in racism, there are two primary aspects to consider. The first is that the very idea of “race” is a lie: as the American Society of Human Genetics, the largest professional organization of scientists in the field, explained in an essay:

“The science of genetics demonstrates that humans cannot be divided into biologically distinct subcategories”; and it “challenges the traditional concept of different races of humans as biologically separate and distinct. This is validated by many decades of research.” In other words, “race itself is a social construct,” with no biological basis.

So, while ethnicity is real, and there are indeed minor differences between ethnic groups, there is no such thing as “race”—only racism

BESTOFALLPOSSIBLE WORLDS, May 15

It's not about “race”.
It's not about nation.
It's not about faith.
Nor social station.
It's not about lingo.
It's not about culture.
This ain't animal husbandry
v. crop agriculture.

Those are mere
flags of convenience —
concepts concocted
explaining our meanness.
Why we prefer, 
given our druthers,
to, if we can,
smother the other.

This human propensity
to draw the inference,
OUR ways are normal.
YOUR ways are different.
We don't sweat the small stuff 
which we can't distinguish.
But things looming large,
we strive to extinguish.
___________
Note to email subscribers:
Due to an editing error, a word was left out of yesterday's DOGGEREL. The corrected version can be seen here,

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

№ 595: Life In Short

REALITY, May 14

It's not a contest between good and evil.
It's a struggle concerning incompetents.
It's not a question of who's best who's worst.
It's a race to determine whoever fails first.

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

№ 594: Are We Rome Yet? (quelques pensĂ©es)

NEW ROME, May 13

In this slo-mo
unraveling story,
an oaf Cæsar bumbles,
proclaiming glory
and some of us wish
for Brutus and Cassius.

And others ask,
Who is Antony?
Who is Augustus?
Who has the
talent or temperament
to bring us justice,
dispense the pretender
and be God-Emperor?

Some may say,
Ayn Rand knew it.
The Constitution,
with a revision
(or two) to renew it,
could undo flaws
devised over time
by Dem Party demagogues.

Hark.
On your mark.
Get set.
A random spark
could ignite the dark.

Sit back.
Relax.
We have nothing to fear. . .
Do not send in the clowns.
They're already here.

Monday, May 13, 2019

№ 593: Genesis 1: 28 - 30 For Dummies

King James Version (KJV)

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

HEAVEN, May 12

Let us prey.
Everyday
murder beasts
for our feasts.

We're God's inheritor,
He made us,
ex-apes,
his apex predator.

Dominion given
over the minions
dictates we treat
creation as meat.

Except the unclean
i.e. human beings
and other pigs
which go well with figs.

Friday, May 10, 2019

№ 592.1: EXTRA! When Bad Was Good In The Movies

Lillian Gish: should a great actor be judged by a racist film?

An Ohio cinema has removed ‘Gish’ from its name due to her role in notorious 1915 film The Birth of a Nation. Cultural myopia – or proof of newly enlightened times?

DW Griffith’s 1915 film epic is still dangerous, perhaps increasingly so. The movie, which prompted protests from the NAACP and cinema riots on its release, praises the Ku Klux Klan and contains deeply offensive representations of African Americans in the years following the civil war. It was held responsible for a surge in KKK membership and has always had a toxic reputation, while being lauded for its technique.
MOVIELAND, May 10

When D. W. Griffith gave us The Birth Of A Nation
it was seen as and, rightly, deemed a sensation.
In black and white, his skillful directorial hand
celebrates hate and the Ku Klux Klan.
(Am I alone in finding that name
silly, illiterate and exceedingly lame?)
Anyway, as I had started to say
this flick was a hit back in its day,
way before anyone would call attention
to what is, at least, its extreme condescension.
(Well, it is actually more propaganda,
pandering slander from a racist grandstander.)

This “classic” agitprop still is deployed
to make down-market whites more paranoid,
assuring they never get to a place
where they can see there are no races.
Therefore a #MAGA conflagration
climaxing in The Death Of A Nation?
We have a leader who is such a jerk, he'll
likely lead us in this full circle.

№ 592: Donald Trump, Superhero (or TOP $ paid for kryptonite)

NOTAARONSORKINLAND, May 9

His superpower lies in concocting lies,
lies of unprecedented, ginormous size.
Lying has always been who Donald is,
lying is how he does his business.

Such lies for others mean:
We
find the defendant
inherently guilty.”



Thursday, May 9, 2019

№ 591.1: EXTRA! Race To The Bottom

Trump laughs after audience member suggests shooting migrants – video 


PANHANDLE, May 8

How do we make America great again?
Do what we did back in the day when
everyone said, “Only good Injun's a dead'n”
and it was okay to cheer for the Redskins!
We need to go back to when we were greater,
when we shot first and asked questions later.
If ever.
(Or never.)

[updated 5/9/2019, 6:15 p.m.]