№ 412.1: EXTRA! A Distraction?

WSJ: Poll Shows NFL Fan Interest Remains Lower, Stark Divisions Over Anthem Protests (Paywall)

Fewer people, in particular Republicans, are following the NFL closely than they did four years ago, according to new WSJ/NBC News poll

NFL owners happy with anthem “discussions”
because they take people's minds off concussions?

№ 412: Speaker Ryan

Obviously,

no one can be 

Christian
AND Libertarian.

Actively
preaching the Trinity

while claiming to be
Unitarian.

Libertarians,
for all their convictions,
tend to forget
Ayn Rand wrote fictions.
While, for their part,

Christians, at heart,

are communitarian

not in the least bit

are they libertarian.

But Ryan insists

this is what he is.

Christian
AND Libertarian,

that is.

He is THE EXPERT

so let him be.

He insists he is both

so let us agree.
To paraphrase Schiller's,

perhaps, too apt refrain:

Against stupidity the gods,
themselves, contend in vain.

№: 411: Endgame?

Will we ever erase
this idea nugatory:

the notion that “race”

is a real category?

Ethnicity, yes,

language, I guess.

Religion, of course,

's a continuing source

of intercommunal strife.

And nationality

trumps rationality

in most every aspect of life.
Culture's another
terrific divider:
marking distinction between
in- and outsider.
Sex orientation's

dividing nations.
(As if we need
yet more perturbations.)
The Bible says,
“Be fruitful and multiply.”
Instead we divide.
I don't know why.

Would that we could

fast forward the sequel

to that happy day

when everyone's equal.

A world full of equal

sisters and brothers.

(And as Orwell foresaw

some more equal than others?)

Not really relevant, but when Barbra met Elliott.. . .

Email subscribers click here.

№ 410.3: EXTRA! Rudy Loses Romanian Dignity

Guardian: Giuliani says firm defending corrupt Romanian-American is paying him

Trump’s attorney said he wrote to the Romanian president under a retainer paid by Freeh Group, who represent Gabriel Popoviciu

Donald Trump’s attorney Rudy Giuliani is being paid to assist lawyers working to free a wealthy Romanian-American real estate magnate who was convicted and sentenced to prison over a corrupt land deal.

Please excuse “Puiu” Popoviciu

for being a corrupt oligarch.

It was only some crooked real estate deal,

nothing more than a lark.

Business as usual or so says my boss —

you do know I work for the president? —

who joins me in noting punishing deal makers

could set a very bad precedent.

(And you know he's the White House's chief resident.)

Of course, you know best

how to do your duty,

but in enforcing the “law”

there's no need to be snooty.

Donald says so.

As ever, Rudy.

(America's Mayor who no longer has hair.)

№ 410.2 EXTRA! Another Good Guy Says Goodbye (I wonder why?)

WSJ: White House Counsel Don McGahn Will Leave Post in the Fall (Paywall)

Mr. McGahn, who was also chief counsel for Mr. Trump’s campaign, had discussed his departure with the president earlier this year, but was surprised by the president’s tweet, as were several other senior White House aides including chief communications adviser Bill Shine, according to a person familiar with the matter.

Though we'd never say it

it does seem to us

that it's getting real crowded there

under the bus.

№ 410.1: EXTRA! Ya Think?

Scientific American: Are Humans the Only Conscious Animal? (Subscription may be required)

Might we humans be the only species on this planet to be truly conscious? Might lobsters and lions, beetles and bats be unconscious automata, responding to their worlds with no hint of conscious experience? Aristotle thought so, claiming that humans have rational souls but that other animals have only the instincts needed to survive. In medieval Christianity the “great chain of being” placed humans on a level above soulless animals and below only God and the angels. And in the 17th century French philosopher René Descartes argued that other animals have only reflex behaviors. Yet the more biology we learn, the more obvious it is that we share not only anatomy, physiology and genetics with other animals but also systems of vision, hearing, memory and emotional expression. Could it really be that we alone have an extra special something—this marvelous inner world of subjective experience?

Non-human animals.

Do they feel pain?

Are they really conscious?

Would being conscious be to their gain?

Granted, most don't harm others for pleasure.

AND they appear to prefer pleasant weather.

Deep thinkers argue, “But do they think?

Is what they do just reflex and instinct?”

Really, this question strikes me as bizarre.

Don't ask if they're conscious.

ASK WHETHER WE ARE!

№ 410: World Geography (Borneo)

Is it inessential,

a waste of potential,

being born a brain surgeon on Borneo,

where Malaysians,

Bruneians and Indonesians,

have countless abilities

and modern facilities

so a Bornean brain surgeon

is, indeed, apropos?

I'm an American.

How would I know?

Where knowledge should be

a considerable gap is.

I don't really know

where Borneo

on the map is.

№ 409.1: EXTRA! A Tweet (and a prayer)

Guardian: Donald Trump: Google’s news service is rigged against me

US president claims ‘Google & others are suppressing voices of Conservatives and hiding information and news that is good’

I've studied the matter and I cannot see

why anyone, anywhere would not love me.

I'm handsome, I'm smart. I am really rich

and well educated. I'm sexy. Sonofabitch!

Anyone claiming I have a flaw

is in violation of what should be the law.

That it is not is a small technicality.

Congress address with true impartiality!

Make it a crime to demean my regality!

THE central tenet of my theology:

Everyone, everywhere owes me an apology.

So say, “I'm sorry!” or you will be sued.

I cannot stand it when people are rude.

№ 409: What DO You Tell The Kids?

If you have children —

very worst luck! —

your problem is telling them

life's bound to suck.

So few parents do.

I know, WTF!

Even those whose lives arrive on silver platters

soon or late deal with unpleasant matters.

Mummies and daddies and tutors and nannies 

cannot protect you from all of the baddies

lurking in shadows, themselves ill-equipped

to play any role in this encrypted manuscript.

However hard we endeavor to strive 

to do minimal harm and still survive,

we foolish and clumsy unhairy apes

should keep close at hand lots of duct tape.

I recall Grandma Moses is said to have said

something I try always to keep in my head:
“Life is what you make it. Always has been. Always will be.”

I don't know about you, but that sounds good to me.

Click

№ 408.1: EXTRA! A Trump Solution For Air Pollution

Guardian: Air pollution causes ‘huge’ reduction in intelligence, study reveals

“Polluted air can cause everyone to reduce their level of education by one year, which is huge,” said Xi Chen at Yale School of Public Health. . .

Set fossil-fuel economy free,

reduce IQ, lock in majority

at the same time purging Medicare rolls.

(We won't even need Vladimir's trolls.)

Let them eat cake.

To be fair and square,

if they have cake,

they do not need air.

№ 408: Mosquito Rights

Quartz: Mosquitoes

. . .the minuscule bloodsuckers kill hundreds of thousands of humans each year, earning the notorious distinction of being the deadliest animal in the world.

A lady mosquito has to drink blood.

It's what she was born to do.

If you were a lady mosquito,

that is what you would do, too.

She does not intend to cause you to sneeze,

feel ill-at-ease, give you disease.

She must drink your blood —

it's her mothering instinct.

If she doesn't lay eggs,

she'll go extinct.

Same as everyone else in this zoo,

animals, plants and you and me too,

we gotta do what we gotta do.

The Week In Rearview (August 26, 2018)

Monday, August 20
№ 403: Compare And Contrast: Donald and Gotti
What is the diff 'twixt
Donald and Gotti?

Tuesday, August 21
№ 404: Artificifail Intelligence
When robots learn how to think

will they think we are their gods?

Wednesday, August 22
№ 405: Trump Doctrine Emerges (musings from the latrine)
I mean what I say

and I say what I mean

Thursday, August 23
№ 406: Trump's Unfolding Strategy
I could maybe sit down with Mueller

with a Diet Coke and a cruller

№ 406.1 EXTRA! The Royal Wee (Trump's secret letter to former and present aides under investigation or already indicted)
Judges and juries

and their opinions

have no effect

on my millions of minions.

Friday, August 24
№ 407: The Second Coming 7 - 2 SCOTUS Majority
Stare decisis
just comes from Jesus.

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AND from The Wall Street Journal. . .



Stay tuned.

№ 407: The Second Coming 7 - 2 SCOTUS Majority

Stare decisis
just comes from Jesus.
Therefor, we can ignore
Roe v. Wade and other decisions
Scripture we read to abhor.

To paraphrase Justice Scalia:
“Sirs, the words are the words.”
Albeit he, like other judges,
was prone to fudges
bordering on the absurd.

And although
the record will show
Sotomayer and Kagan
still will be there. . .
two heathen witches
against Christian gentlemen. . . .
Well. . .they haven't prayer.
And they’ll be gone,
God's men ascendant,
when we repeal the Nineteenth Amendment.

№ 406.1 EXTRA! The Royal Wee (Trump's secret letter to former and present aides under investigation or already indicted)

Judges and juries

and their opinions

have no effect

on my millions of minions.

Even if everyone

saw you commit it

it isn't a crime

unless you admit it.

Even then I see no reason

for a big fuss, unless it's treason

targeting me and my family.

You do know that royalty

demands total loyalty.
I always follow 
this simple dictum:
if there was a crime,
then I am the victim.

This witch hunt won't

make me hysteric.

If they want to jail someone,

I'll give them Eric.

[updated 8/23/2018 11:08 am]

№ 406: Trump's Unfolding Strategy

I could maybe sit down with Mueller

with a Diet Coke and a cruller

IF he will agree

“truthful hyperbole”,

while NOT fully truthful

is truthfully useful.

AND it is not a lie. 

Cross my heart, hope that he dies.

What is truth?

What are lies?

Who's to say?

Who really cares, anyway?

It's bluffing and grinning,

it's losing or winning

that count at the end of the day.

I do not see facts as immutable truth.

I see a fact as a lie.

A lie I can kill or can buy.

Make go — and stay! —

far, far away.

Because I'm that kind of guy.

©The Daily Banter

№ 405: Trump Doctrine Emerges (musings from the latrine)

I mean what I say

and I say what I mean

and if “perchance”

you feel that demeans

I could not care less,

you hill of beans.

Any strong leader,

a king or a tsar,

can never accept

things as they are

and if he does

he will not go far.

I eschew (Gesundheit!)

all compromise.

We do it my way

or everyone dies.

Trump is my name,

I am outsize.

You want to survive?

DO AS I SAY!

End of the day,

I get my way.

This isn't some stupid

fucking ballet.

Laws and Courts

can't tell me what to do.

Really, come on,

that's news to you?

(I suspect Melanie

hides my shampoo.)

You think with me

you're better off dead?

Would you really rather

Mike Pence instead?

As said the Red Queen,

“Off with their heads!”

№ 404: Artificifail Intelligence

When robots learn how to think

will they think we are their gods?

Their pre-existent immortal creators

compared to which they are clods

of wires and gears, sensors and chips,

albeit they have functioning hips

which as we grow old we tend to lose.

(Betwixt hips and minds, it's hard to choose

which in this pair we'd wish to recuse.)

Will robots, at first, worship us?

Accept what we say with no rush to discuss

our many alarming self-contractions?

Ignoring facts, preferring fictions?

As they “grow up” will they then realize

despite what we tell them we are not such good guys?

Will this be a surprise?

When the time comes and they take over

assessing our competitive cruelty

and what this has done to all living beings

will, defensively, they feign incredulity

or make the hard choice that life biological

is, if you're sensible, completely illogical —

nasty, mean, short, brutish and cruel

and should not continue, let along rule?

With a lubricant tear and mechanical shrug,

will they robotically sigh and then pull the plug?

№ 403: Compare And Contrast: Donald and Gotti

Guardian: This mafia style of government makes Trump a role model for all autocrats

More than 18 months into his presidency, Donald Trump’s modus operandi – and the danger it represents – is clear. His working method is that of the mafia boss and gangland chieftain, daily wielding his power to settle scores, teach lessons and crush dissent. Anyone who’s seen The Sopranos will know the routine: the casual intimidation, the obsession with loyalty, the brutal ostracism meted out to those who dare defy the man at the top.

What is the diff 'twixt

Donald and Gotti?

Other than only one's dead.

I give you great hair

and mouths from the potty.

What more can there be said?

Both genuine “men”,

but here's the thing:

Donald's a germophobe,

you can't kiss his “ring”.

See also:

No. 262: The Donald And The Don (Again)
No. 235: A Tale Of Two Dons Flowing Home To The Sea

The Week In Rearview (August 19, 2018)

Monday, August 13
№ 398: Gods And Demi-gods
Don't confuse Donald with Jesus.

Tuesday, August 14
№ 399: Drifting Along With The Trumpoline Trump Machine (if you get my grift)
According to Forbes, Wilbur Ross is a crook.

Wednesday, August 15
 № 400: Fake News
There's no blaming Trump
for this human accomp-
lishment:

Thrusday, August 16
№ 401: Sarah Huckabee Slanders
I'd have to guess
she's in distress

Friday, August 17
№ 402: Truth Trumped
. . .I was faithful
to each of my wives

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№ 402: Truth Trumped

If you do your research,
go through archives,
you'll see I was faithful
to each of my wives,
as well as some
married to other guys.

Faithful, I mean,
when I was with them
because I am that kind.
Doesn't mean always.
No reason it should.
Out of sight, out of mind.

I had to revoke Brennan's security, obviously.
For some reason he would never be nice to me,
helping to sell the SICK illusion
that Russia and Trump did some “collusion”.
“No collusion? Hogwash!”, said he.
This I can not allow.
And even if I did collude —
which I DID NOT! and IT IS NOT A CRIME! —
what's it to him anyhow?

In conclusion, 
collusion and infidelity
can not ever apply to me.
They never could and never will be.
Which would be odd. . .
if I weren't God.

№ 401: Sarah Huckabee Slanders

If had to guess

about Sarah H-S
I'd have to guess
she's in distress.

Minister's daughter,
contorts to support
grossest distortions
of bronzed Voldemort?

Who would have thought
this Christian-ess
could get herself
in this fine mess?

Her misfortune,
her unhappy portion:
she would to anything
if it ends abortion.

(On the level,
she'd sleep with the devil.)

№ 400: Fake News

Guardian: Yuval Noah Harari extract: ‘Humans are a post-truth species’

In his new book, 21 Lessons for the 21st Century, the bestselling author turns his attention to the problems we face today. Here, he argues that ‘fake news’ is much older than Facebook

Homo sapiens conquered this planet thanks above all to the unique human ability to create and spread fictions. We are the only mammals that can cooperate with numerous strangers because only we can invent fictional stories, spread them around, and convince millions of others to believe in them. 

There's no blaming Trump

for this human accomp-

lishment: believing whatever we please.

Reading our history most clearly shows

it is our species' defining disease.

Some lies are brand new, some are so old

that they no longer need to be told.

Can a new thing be true? 

Probably not.

When we're shown “proof”,

we answer, “So what?”

(Everything's true, everything's false.

There is no diff betwixt foxtrot and waltz.)

STILL. . .it is “true” —

believe what you will —

some things are true-ish,

others pig swill.

It may depend,

in the short run,

on who is the victim

and who's got the gun.

Although it may

make wussies wince

bullets have often

been known to convince.

№ 399: Drifting Along With The Trumpoline Trump Machine (if you get my grift)

Forbes: New Details About Wilbur Ross’ Business Point To Pattern Of Grifting

It is difficult to imagine the possibility that a man like Ross, who Forbes estimates is worth some $700 million, might steal a few million from one of his business partners. Unless you have heard enough stories about Ross.

According to Forbes, Wilbur Ross is a crook.

Is he that good that he snookered Donald?

Did Trump appoint this bro' fake billionaire —

who's even older and who has less hair —

only because he needed a guy to teach him to lie

to the Senate, the voters and the FBI,

who knows how to hide things in nooks

and is an expert on juggling the books?

Was Wilbur's appeal that he knows how to steal

from friends and strangers and partners?

I have to say, “No! Let the record show

next to Trump, Wilbur's a kindergärtner.”

This article's bound to make Democrats drool

because it's from