№ 382.1: EXTRA! Trump Rolls On — er, out — Red Carpet For Putin

Guardian: Trump responds to Helsinki criticism by inviting Putin to White House

Sarah Sanders says Trump asked John Bolton to invite Putin ‘to Washington in the fall and those discussions are under way’

Trump’s invitation to Putin draws rebukes from Democrats and his intelligence chief

How Dan Coats, Trump-appointed Director of National Intelligence, found out:

(with apologies to Ross Bagdasarian, William Saroyan composer and lyricist and George's aunt Rosemary)

(Email subscribers click here for music.)

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you Ukraine

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give a you

Estonia, France and Germany too, да

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House I'm gonna give a you

Armenia, Belarus, Czechs and Slavs, да

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you Austria

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you everyone

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you Hungary

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you

Romania, Poland and Balk-a-lands, too да

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House I'm gonna give a you

All of the “stans” if you like-a my hair?

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House a come on

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you Vietnam

Come on-a White House, White House, I'm gonna give you

Everything, everything, everything

[Updated 7/20/2018 11:05 am]

[Updated 7/20/2018 2:05 pm]

№ 382: Last Man Standing

Guardian: Footage of sole survivor of Amazon tribe emerges
Man believed to be in his 50s seen swinging an axe to fell a tree in Brazilian forest

Loggers, farmers and land grabbers murdered and expelled indigenous populations in the area in the 1970s and 1980s, and the man is believed to be the only survivor of a group of six killed during an attack by farmers in 1995. [He] has lived alone in an Amazon forest for at least 22 years. He was first located in 1996 and has been monitored by Funai [the Brazilian government indigenous agency] ever since. A glimpse of his face filmed in 1998 was shown in the Brazilian documentary Corumbiara.

Civilization.

Take it of leave it?

(Freud said it bred discontent.)

And if it kills everybody you know,

you would avoid it — to an extent —

and pray to the gods,

known and unknown,

for civilization to leave you alone,
though it will not,
it's not apropos,
so you may find yourself
with your own Truman Show.

№ 381: Vladimir Putin Sings “A Problem Like Maria”

Red hair from Red Square

WaPo: Alleged Russian agent Maria Butina had ties to Russian intelligence agency, prosecutors say (Paywall)

The Russian woman arrested on charges of being a foreign agent had ties to Russian intelligence operatives and was in contact with them while in the United States, federal prosecutors said Wednesday. Maria Butina also had ties to wealthy businessmen linked to the Putin administration and appeared to have plans to flee the U.S., prosecutors said in a new court filing.

(with apologies to Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II)

She joined the NRA they say

and maybe gave them cash

She says that guns are tons of fun

This gal's got balls of brass

She asked Trump a question

as she batted her eyelash

All and all that's really not too shabby

Even though the FBI

was quickly on her tail

Until she was indicted

it was all to no avail

And I will extract her 

soon as we can post her bail

Maria is an asset and Trump's grabby
I tell you no lie
Maria is my spy

Easy to solve проблема like Maria

Easy to fix with Donald Trump the clown

Easy to solve проблема как Мария

just one other think I can when I want to shoot down

All I do is call collect to der dummkopf

and let him know just what it is I demand

and he will not make her stay

he'll send her upon her way

for Donald must do exactly what I command

Easy to solve проблема как Мария

easy because I hold the upper hand

№ 380.2: EXTRA! To Be Perfectly Clear

NYT: In His Latest Account of His Meeting With Putin, Trump Says He Laid Down the Law (Paywall)

“I laid down and rolled over the law

and Vlad said, ‘Who's a good boy,

who's a gooood boy?’”

№ 380.1: EXTRA! Donald Trump — A Man Of His Word

He betrayed his first bride

with bride number two

who he also later betrayed.

His present bride

ignores pinups and porn stars.

(I presume she's amply paid.)

Betrayal, with Trump,

is just what he does.

And he does what he does

mainly because of

the very best reasons.

Spring and summer,

winter and fall,

he is a man for all treasons.

He is, let me stress,

nevertheless,

a man whose word is his bond.

Sadly, these bonds are rated as junk

and his word cannot be counted upon.

I would that he would

when he would he wouldn't.

To be truthful and honest

is something he couldn't.

A man of his word.

What else can you say.

What the word is

differs day after day.

№ 380: Improving History — What Donald Would Have Said If Only He Had Been

James Madison:

I see no need for a Constitution.

A President rules by his own absolution.

Ben Franklin:

A republic, if you can keep it.

If it were me, I'd BLEEEEP it.

Thomas Jefferson:

I hold ALL Truths to be withering.
Now let me get on with my slithering.

George Washington:

Someone chopped down a cherry tree?

Honestly, Pops, it weren't me!

Copernicus:
I've known from the moment
I ditched Mom's placenta,
neither Earth nor Sun is,
I am the center.

Jesus:
Oh! My! ME!
Mary Magdalene.
Alla my life,
wherea you been?

№ 379.1: EXTRA! Clarobfuscation

Daily Beast: CNN Dismantles Trump’s ‘Absurd’ Double-Negative Defense: ‘Pointsfor Being Creative’

‘If only that entire unbelievably, historically embarrassing spectacle could have been fixed with an ‘n,’ an apostrophe and a ‘t.’’

If you wanted someone to reach new heights of abturdity,

sure as Putin, it would[n't] be me.

If you ever thought someone could lie continuously,

sure as Putin it would[n't] be me.

If you were looking for someone to betray his country,

sure as Putin, it would[n't] be me.
If I had “misspoken”, I would have told Hannity.
If someone misspoke, I wasn't me.

№ 379: Trump – Putin Submit Joint Commungay (a toke, one of good will)

We agree there should be no rushing to judgment

concerning invading Crimea. (Nor punishment!)

Since it it clear Vladimir knows Siberia

he should have a free hand with Iran and Syria.

Though I deplore Germany buying his gas,

for dear Vladimir, I will let it pass.

What this is about is avoiding more wars.

Not what I (maybe) did in Moscow with whores.

Vlad says there was no election intrusion,

which proves absolutely there was no collusion.

The whole witch hunt thing is an obvious plot,

Vlad said, in my shoes, he'd have them all shot:

Mueller, Cohen, McCain, Lindsey Graham.

I said, “We'll see.” (You know what I'm sayin'.)

Since FBI, CIA, DIA lie to me,

Vlad will to replace all of them. Free!

Hereafter our country's first line of defense

will be rely entirely on Russian intelligence.

№ 378.3: EXTRA! An Aaron Sorkin Moment? (if only)

NYT: Republicans Rebuke Trump for Siding With Putin as Democrats Demand Action (Paywall)
WASHINGTON — Republicans across the ideological spectrum rebuked President Trump after Monday’s extraordinary news conference with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, with Speaker Paul D. Ryan admonishing Mr. Trump and declaring, “There is no moral equivalence between the United States and Russia.” Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, called it “one of the most disgraceful performances by an American president in memory.” Beyond Capitol Hill, even some personalities on Fox News signaled they were done defending the president’s actions. Neil Cavuto, a Fox Business Network host, called Mr. Trump’s performance “disgusting.”

Neville Chamberlain had only one Munich

where Nazi Germany made him into a eunuch.

With Vlad in Helsinki and Kim in Singapore,

Trump's had two Munichs. How many more

can his party endure?

№ 378.2: EXTRA! My Place Or Yours? — previous (devious?) secret Trump-Putin meeting attempt

THIS JUST IN:

NYT: Woman Who Sought Secret Meeting for Trump and Putin Is Charged as Russian Agent (Paywall)

WASHINGTON — A Russian woman who tried to broker a pair of secret meetings between candidate Donald J. Trump and the Russian president, Vladimir V. Putin, during the 2016 presidential campaign, was charged Monday and accused of carrying out a secret Russian effort to influence American politics.

In two-oh-one-six

this Russian chick

tried to set up

a Trump-Putin meeting.

It would be delusional

to call it collusional.

Don't get too excited, 

she's only indicted.

There was no meeting.

No one was invited.

More Democrat stunt,

more wasteful witch hunt.

You gotta wonder what next is comin'?

What they've got after this Russian woman? 

№ 378.1: EXTRA! Putin Trump Submit Forecast

Denying he did election hack,

Putin asks for Alaska back.

Donald says, “Maybe. We'll see.

Alaska's Republican. They vote for me.

So what you propose could pose a dilemma.” 

Putin replies, «Это не проблема!»

№ 378: In Defense Of Mike Pence

AP: Pence family’s failed gas stations cost taxpayers $20M+

GARDEN CITY, Ind. (AP) — Vice President Mike Pence turns nostalgic when he talks about growing up in small-town Columbus, Indiana, where his father helped build a Midwestern empire of more than 200 gas stations that provided an upbringing on the “front row of the American dream.”

The collapse of Kiel Bros. Oil Co. in 2004 was widely publicized. Less known is that the state of Indiana — and, to a smaller extent, Kentucky and Illinois — are still on the hook for millions of dollars to clean up more than 85 contaminated sites across the three states, including underground tanks that leaked toxic chemicals into soil, streams and wells.

Indiana alone has spent at least $21 million on the cleanup thus far, or an average of about $500,000 per site, according to an analysis of records by The Associated Press. And the work is nowhere near complete.

It makes perfect sense 
Vice President Pence,

former gov of Indiana,

both then and in House

was quick to espouse

fixing the mess 
made by his 
family's failed business —
at taxpayers' expense, 

with the state's money, no less.

Poor women and children deserve their fate,

but businesses like his make America grate. 
(Sorry. Great, e-a-t, not a-t-e.)

If you pollute

you must be astute

to make taxpayers pay 

for what you loot.

First get connected,

then get elected.

Both easy-peasy

when you're God's selected*.

You'll be protected

but if you're suspected
just say you expect to do
what God directs you to.

You liberals, no doubt, 
think this reprehensible,
whereas to us Conservatives 
it's simply sensible.

____________________
*The Atlantic: God's Plan for Mike Pence

The Week In Rearview (July 15, 2018)

Monday, July 9, 2018
№ 373: Good News!
     To be (or not to be)
     is not the question.
     MORE

Tuesday, July 10, 2018
№ 374: A Shakespearean Mystery
     Why,
     do you suppose

     Shakespeare did not 
     compose only prose?
     MORE

Wednesday, July 11, 2018
№ 375: Burke's Slaw (it depends on how you slice it)
     The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. 
      — Edmund Burke
     MORE

Thursday, July 12, 2018
№ 376: Just Dessert?
     Chocolate is the most popular flavour of ice cream according to a new survey
     MORE

Friday, July 13, 2018
№ 377: Vehemently In Favor
     . . .The ideal world population is somewhere between 1.5 billion to 2 billion, 
     according to a study published by three Stanford ecologists in 1994.
     MORE

№ 377.1: EXTRA! Eat It!
     The Republican House speaker has revealed that a family of hungry rodents has 
     put his car out of commission
     MORE

Email subscribers: Saturday, July 7 – Friday, July 13
 66 views of 12 items