Friday, April 26, 2019

№ 582: Œdipus Perplex (ah gnats!)

Belief, be it in science or some other god —
please believe me I say this with charity —
is mental illness if only because
believers believe there is clarity
somewhere and they can find it.
(Or there will be once they've defined it.)

Humans think themselves witty.
They believe they achieve the real nitty-gritty.
Therefore their ends can be rather unpretty
as Œdipus “saw” as he sought to know more.
(He was so open-minded, he ended self-blinded.)

A gnat understands being a gnat.
And being a gnat, leaves it at that,
content in knowing that that is that.
Had Œd been a gnat, I have no doubt that
his end would never have come down to that.
(Although he may have died with a splat.)

Whether small insect or royal and great,
at the end of the day your FATE is your fate.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

№ 581: The State Of The GOP

LINCOLN MEMORIAL, April 24

Now. . .
I really hate saying it,
but it seems to me
observing the state of today's GOP,
they prefer a scoundrel with whom they “agree”
and care not a whit for climate or country.

Is that too harsh, lacking in tact?
I believe not, given the fact
that this overstuffed idiot,
this adulterous liar,
regardless of  whether
he ever conspired
with Russia or others
or read Wikileaks
has turned us over
to amoral freaks
without principles, consciences —
dare I say souls? —
crooks and connivers
and all sorts of trolls
who, to be fair,
think themselves “The Just”.
What we think of them,
they think of us.
Sadly, with people,
'twas ever thus.

Brutus and Bonaparte. Attila the Hun.
Are they the bad guys just 'coz 
the other guys won?
One happy thought is,
no matter how rotten,
for those who survive them,
bad guys are forgotten.
Except, of course,
in history courses
depending on who and
what are the sources.

Throughout Eurasia,
looking hither and yon,
one finds few fans
of Genghis Khan,
save in Mongolia
where he is revered
as that nation's
national hero.

Eight hundred years on
would it be a surprise
if Donald were seen
in a similar guise?
As he himself says,
“We'll see. Time will tell.”
I put the odds at
snowball in hell.

Looking back at what
I said in beginning
should we be in fear
of GOP winning?
Stick a fork in it.
It's over and done.
Open your eyes.
We lost. They won.

Not every Republicans
equally craved
destroying America
in order to save it.
It's like before, when
with joyful rambunction,
to stay in power,
they undid Reconstruction.

Now we will have
new tribulations
in both domestic
and foreign relations.
Still I have hope
we may change gears—
in three or four
hundred more years.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

№ 580.1 : EXTRA! Æthelred Too (c. 968 - 23 April 1016)

Æthelred the Unrædy* was not well advised,
that nickname's an Old English joke.
Other than that he was not a bad fellow,
contemporaries found him a rather good bloke.

Later historians have been less kind
for reasons time has obscured.
This suggests to discerning observers
your rep when you're dead cannot be assured.
Continual changing and rearranging
after you go can be life-changing.
—————————
* His epithet does not derive from the modern word “unready”, but rather from the Old English unræd meaning “poorly advised”; it is a pun on his name, which means “well advised”. — Wikipedia

† “[A] tall, handsome man, elegant in manners, beautiful in countenance and interesting in his deportment.” Ibid

№ 580: Say It Again, Sam (and a poem within)

WHAT
is the meaning of meaning?
WHY
does it fail to explain?
EVER
much of anything, really?
NOT!
that I mean to complain.
HOWEVER
I am of the opinion
IF
God had a half of a brain
THEN
he would call everything off
NEVER!
to try it again.

Nothing amounts to a hill of beans.
Not that it matters whatever it means.
If you find your world going kerflooey
you'd best form a friendship with this guy called Louis.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

№ 579.1: EXTRA! Que Sarah, Sarah

What to do about Sarah Sanders? White House reporters have a few ideas. (Paywall)

(with apologies to Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II)

Email subscribers click here.

THE SWAMP, April 23

She stands behind the podium and spouts about Trump's lies
She shakes her head and frowns at you and looks into your eyes
You're too polite to ever ask, “What is your dress size?”
Even at her best she's always crabby

She bats away your question and refuses to reveal
if she believes that what she says is plausibly real
I confess I must conclude she's Trump's performing seal
still I feel bad when we treat her shabby

Like Donald's entire staff
Sarah is a laugh

How do you solve a problem like Sarah Huckabee-Sanders
How do you ask a question to pin her down
How do find a word describing Sarah Huckabee-Sanders
who, though she's no jerk, willingly works for this clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to ask her
so in all fairness your might come to understand
why a good Christian wife chooses to waste her life
and day after day to bury her head in the sand
Oi, how do you solve a problem like SAD Sarah
Could be the answer is working to get her canned

She out-Kellys Kellyanne, fibbing fibs gargantuan
until reporters' hair begins to curl
There's no climate change just weather, so then altogether
you wonder what is wrong with this poor girl

At her briefings we're confused when she's flustered we're amused
by the lack of fact when she goes on attack
She's unchristian, she is wild in defending Trump the child
she's his banshee, she's his demon, she's his hack

How do you solve a problem like Sarah Huckabee-Sanders
How do you ask a question to pin her down
How do find a word describing Sarah Huckabee-Sanders
who, though she's no jerk, she willingly works for this clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to ask her
so in all fairness your might come to understand
why a good Christian wife chooses to waste her life
and day after day to bury her head in the sand
Oi, how do you solve a problem like SAD Sarah
Could be the answer is working to get her canned

[updated 4/23/2019, 5:20 p.m. EDT]

№ 579: Privacy Pry Merrily

LOCATION UNDISCLOSED, April 22

Many concerned
with privacy issues
seem to be unaware
for 95% of our history
we roamed nomadicly
gathering, hunting,
without decent plumbing.
There were no bath
or other rooms —
so sly eyes could pry on
shy “brides” and “grooms”.
Never was there
a lid on your id.
Everyone knew
whatever you did.

Privacy “loss”?
Media hype!
All that it is
is reverting to type.
Hugh Hefner held,
as you may be aware,
there could be an “l”
in pubic hair.

[updated 4/23/19, 12:34 a.m. EDT]

Monday, April 22, 2019

№ 578.1: EXTRA! Rudy On Sunday

  • Trump lawyer: ‘Nothing wrong with information from Russians’
On Fox News Sunday, he claimed Robert Mueller’s 448-page report. . .was full of “calumny, lies and distortion”.

On CNN’s State of the Union, the former New York mayor. . .claimed the special counsel’s team “came close to torturing people”. . . .

Asked on NBC’s Meet the Press why Trump was so angry at Mueller and former White House counsel Don McGahn, a key witness, Giuliani replied: “Because they tried to frame him.”

RUDYLAND, April 22

This so-called report? A fat pack of lies
saying my client is innocent.
Even if he had committed his crimes,
being caught at it was NOT his intent.

Now I, his lawyer, speak freely — at last! —
now that Most Holy Easter is past.
Given this man whom I represent
I should never have given up lying for Lent.

With truth and lies you have to be coy or
give up pretending you are a lawyer.

№ 578: Fathers And Daughters

THE SWAMP, April 21

            Donald And Ivanka
Ivanka Trump
whose daddy's a crook.
(A ginormous bigly one.
He “wrote” the book.)

Ivanka, in consequence, does not know truth.
That is not how she was brought up.
Look who she married, if you need further proof.
She learned to lie and cover stuff up.

Father and daughter,
conniving liars.
Doing whatever
the moment requires.

         Mike And Sarah 
Does Sarah Sanders not know right from wrong?
After all she's Mike Huckabee's daughter.
Even with everything else going on,
he is a preacher and ought to have taught her.

Did Sarah say, Daddy, may I work for Donald?”
If she did, how could he have let her?
I suppose both believe God works in strange ways.
(So does the Devil and the pay's better.)

Father and daughter
selling their souls,
playing at martyr
for policy goals.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

№ 577.3: EXTRA! Doctrine Air (an Easter special edition)

GILEAD, April 20

Our preacher tells us THE BIBLE
is ultimate, absolute TRUTH.
Neither he nor we can read the original
so whatever he says is our proof.

We prefer praying to thinking.
There's no need for science with God.
To think otherwise is unseasonable
and is considered a little bit odd.

We see no need for logic.
Logic's like witchcraft. But worse.
The only thing you ever need know
is BIBLICAL chapter and verse.

We are opposed to Sharia.
But. . .since we've no sins to atone. . .
in the event Sharia's imposed,
we'll happily cast the first stone.

All we want is our freedom
to live in accord with God's will.
Those who choose some other way
therefore will have to be killed.