№ 812: The Turn Of The Skew

CRY WOLF (March 12) —

FOX NEWS BULL IT IN:

This virus is a Democrat,

an illegal alien.

A Mexican-Muslim

(decidedly brown,

a smuggler of drugs)

we'll run out of town.

QUESTIONS:

Donnie's Great Wall can't keep out this virus?

Should we conclude God wants to expire us?

Time to gnash teeth? Commence rending garments?

OR should we ignore these damned Murdoch varmints,

who loudly profess how the US is blessed?

To those who raise chickens, a FOX is a pest.

№ 811: A Long, Long While From March To November

Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Jule Stein and Sammy Cahn)

APOCOLAPSE (March 11) —

Stock market behavior is frightful

and Donnie sure is spiteful

and since we’ve eight months to go . . .

I dunno, I dunno, I dunno

The virus don’t seem like stopping

and Boeing’s plans are flopping

and Bernie ain't gonna go . . .

I dunno, I dunno, I dunno

When November at last arrives,

and everything runs true-to-form,

all of those who survive

can vote to return to the “norm”

If the planet is really dying

and life on Earth's expiring . . .

it ain't necessarily so . . .

I dunno, I dunno, I dunno

When November at last arrives,

and everything runs true-to-form,

all of those who survive

can vote to return to the “norm”

If the planet is truly dying,

forget regrets, no crying

It just had to happen, so . . .

let it go, let it go, let it go

№ 810: Aweficial GOP Response To The (Any?) Crisis

AND SEW IT GOES (March 10) —

The damned Sanders'-nasties think it is funny,

but poor millionaires are losing money.

Their shares have dropped.

This must be stopped.

We will give millionaires a juicy tax cut

to offset this unfortunate punch in the gut

to our richest, our smartest, our finest, our best  —

and, yes, we do do this at their behest.

(We rely on the virus to deal with the rest.)

For rich folk to suffer is cruel and unfair.

We must end/defund ALL medical care.

If that proves insufficient, for added surety,

we shall repeal so-called “social security”.

Now before you start saying, “Son of a bitch”,

note this IS socialism. It's just for the rich.

№ 809: Allah-bama Yogi

Alabama bill may lift yoga ban in public schools but prohibit 'namaste' greeting

Lawmakers move to lift decades-old ban, but the bill would continue to prohibit chanting, mantras and the greeting


Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Frank Perkins and Mitchell Parish)

DO SOUTH (March 9) —
In this silly Dixie drama
where things “foreign” cause a fright,
yoga now in Allah-bama
a right?

It’s Hindu in pajamas
It's not Islamist, all right?
Okay yoga, Allah-bama,
all right?

Yoga makes for relaxation
with salutation “Namaste”
Would it be okay if we changed it
to say, “Have a nice day”?

It’s not a sickle and a hammer
Why are you always so uptight?
Go do yoga, Allah-bama
Good night

№ 808: The Prince And The Pissant

Saudi Arabia releases images of King Salman after purge of royals
Monarch seen carrying out duties as speculation mounts over crown prince’s succession

Saudi Arabia has released images of King Salman carrying out his royal duties after a purge of at least three princes including his brother and nephew for allegedly plotting a coup.

Saudi royal guards carried out the arrests on Friday in a move that signals Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s tightening grip on power.

Prince Ahmed bin Abdul Aziz, a brother of King Salman, and the monarch’s nephew Prince Mohammed bin Nayef were detained after they were accused of plotting a palace coup aimed at unseating the crown prince, heir to the Saudi throne, sources said.

Prince Nayef’s younger brother, Prince Nawaf bin Nayef, was also detained, they said.

GREATLEADERLAND (March 8) —

I gotta confess: I love MBS.

Everyone says, “He’s a prince!”

When in his presence — the effervescence —

is bound to quickly convince you

this is a man who has a plan,

a vision, if I may say so,

and any who dare to get in his way

had best take care lest they 
show up dead or get arrested

for having tested his patience,

when, instead of losing their head,

they could have bowed in obeisance.

Crown Prince MBS — that's “M” for Mohammed

(may his name ever be praised) —
is a good friend, always happy to lend
me a hand (or cash) and never delays
returning my calls, though he's got the balls
to do whatever he pleases.
Four wives at a time. (Plus concubines. I'm
ever so jealous.) Sweet Jesus!
That he is my pal makes me so glad.
I love him more than Kim, Xi, or Vlad.