№ 722: Theme From The Legend Of Donnie Trump (a FOX network preview)

 A TCC NEWS EXCLUSIVE! 

NEW YORK (November 7) — THEATRICAL CEMENT COMPANY NEWS (TCCN) has exclusively learned of a proposed addition to FOX TV entertainment schedule for 2020, the year of the U.S, presidential election. THEATRICAL CEMENT COMPANY  is the parent company of The Daily Doggerel.

According to our exclusive source who requested anonymity because he is not named John Barron, is “new here” and is not authorized to speak on these matters, The Legend Of Donnie Trump will air seven nights a week on FOX starting January 1, 2020. Each interminable episode will air twice per evening. The same episode will be shown all week.

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(with apologies to Harry Warren)

I'll tell you a story a real true life story,
the tale of low-life from Queens,
who was naturally naughty
and loved all things gaudy
who pos-sessed the most beau-ti-ful genes.

[Chorus:]
Donnie Trump, Donnie Trump,
craven, outrageous and old,
flushing the coun-try down the la-va-tor-y
he has no soul to be sold.

He came to Manhattan in order to fatten
his already undeserved purse
by cheating and stealing
and double-dealing
and in general making things worse.

(Chorus)

He rode with Roy Cohn who made easy goin'
for this brash, blond boy from nowhere
who, without interruption, taught him corruption 
and told him that he had great hair.

Donnie Trump, Donnie Trump,
he has no soul to be sold.

Well, he increased his fortune
in disproportion
by gaming the bankruptcy laws.
Tabloids adored him
and women implored him
to muss their clothes with his paws.

(Chorus)
Excuse me for saying, “slime mold”.

[updated 11/8/2019 10:20 am to add music credit]

№ 721: Old Man And “We'll See”

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SOMEDAY SOON (November 6)

(with apologies to Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein II)

Ol' man, Donnie,
that ol' man Donnie
he's a genius at losin' money
Ol' man Donnie, he jes dumbells along

He loves race baiters, he says stuff rotten
We'll be grateful when he's forgotten
Ol' man Donnie, he jes stumbles along

You and me, we can't explain
what his staff has for brains
They'll be charged, denied bail
Work for him, you're goin' t' jail

Dunning-Kruger, uber pompous
See what Putin has begot us
Ol' man Donnie, to hell tumbles along

№ 720: I May Have Forgotten To Mention

With revised statement, Sondland adds to testimony linking aid to Ukraine investigations that Trump sought (Paywall)

In a significant revision to his testimony nearly three weeks ago before House impeachment investigators, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, now says he told a Ukrainian official that security assistance to the country would be likely to resume only if the authorities in Kyiv opened investigations requested by President Trump that could be damaging to former vice president Joe Biden.

In a “supplemental declaration” provided to the House impeachment inquiry Monday, Sondland wrote, “I now recall speaking individually” with a Ukrainian official and in that conversation saying “that resumption of U.S. aid would likely not occur until Ukraine provided the public anti-corruption statement that we had been discussing for many weeks.”

Sondland, a Trump donor turned diplomat, had been seen as a loyalist of the president with a supportive version of events — that Trump was trying to combat corruption broadly in a country that depends on U.S. aid to defend itself against Russian aggression. Sondland’s assertion in a previously released text message to a senior State Department official that Trump didn’t seek “quid pro quo’s of any kind” was seized upon by Republicans to argue that the president had not used the power of his office for personal political gain.

WHOOPS (November 5)

Of course, I wanted something on Biden,
but I never said, “Just make shit up.”
I told Ukraine, “Take what Junior did,
replace his name with Hunter's.
Proof absolute Joe Biden's corrupt.”

I distinctly recall (now) those conversations
where I “suggest” quid quo pro:
Ukraine provides required information.
If not I say where they can go 
shove it (their country). 
Love it. The effrontery.
America made to look great.
The Ukes left to their fate.
In Putin's hands,
they do what he demands
just as he planned
and as he expected 
when he went out and got Donnie elected.

№ 719: Donnie And Albert And Stephen — compare and contrast

IDEAL SPECULATION (November 4)

When Albert Einstein

spoke of his brain,

no one, I think,

made a fuss.

When Stephen Hawking

dwelt on his intellect,

everyone said,

“Perspicacious!”

Yet let Donnie (in passing!) 

mention his genius. . .

FAKE LIBERAL MEDIA 
pretends disgust!?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wait!

I can not recall

Einstein or Hawking

saying anything 

like I said 

they said above.

Nor do I remember 

them sending mash notes

to murdering tyrants 

with whom 

they “fell in love”.

Kim Wink GIF from Kim GIFs

Sadly, therefore,

I am forced to conclude,

mean as it seems,

and however rude,

Hawking and Einstein

were not, indeed, geniuses.

Unlike Donnie —

sing, “Hey nonny-nonny” —

Albert and Stephen

did not bray and whinny.

Instead they DID.

Sing, “Hey ninny”, Ninny.

№ 718: Election Predilection Imperfection

GETREAL (November 3)

I have four SMALL PROBLEMS with Elizabeth Warren.

First of all, SHE. CAN. NOT. WIN!

Secondly, if she miraculously managed to,

Congress would drop her “plans” in the bin.

Thirdly, if Congress somehow passed them,

our Trumped-Up courts would say nay.

Fourthly and finally, if the courts didn't,

her crazy “ideas” wouldn't work anyway.

NOT that points two through four matter,

should she get the nod, I see on our platter

four more years for the mad #MAGA hatter.

[updated 11/4/2019, 9:49 am]