No. CLXXIX.i: EXTRA! (from Wackileaks) Trump's Secret Deleted Tweets

I'm seethin'

with grievances

caused by the Congress.

I'm a success.

They made a mess.

Repeal and replace, Mitch?

Goddamn, in your face, bitch!

If she were pretty

I'd “like” Sarah Huckabee.

(And for that matter

maybe less fatter.)

Who banished Banyon

as my companion?

I am aware

“Obamacare”

indeed would succeed.

So I impede.

I had more power

up in my Tower.

Here when I glower

very few cower.

What's with Congress?

Permanent recess?

Can I rule by decree?

Sounds good to me.

Then there's the “free press”,

which knows no fairness.
to me they're not nice, hence

I'll kill their license.

I could happily make amends

if NBC were like “Fox & Friends”.

Why can't all of TV

be like Sean Hannity?

He always is nice to me.

A great idea 

occurred to me

when NFL players 

take a knee

tell Mattis

change status

if they don't wanna stand

let 'em kneel in Afghanistan

No. CLXXIX: Trump's Afta NAFTA (NO Canada!)

Trump ordered his Depart-

ment of Interior

to take from Canada

all Lake Superior.

(For obvious reasons his favorite Great Lake

which, therefore, he's entitled to take

for his and America's sake),

“Tack it on to Wisconsin,”

(they voted for him), 

“not Minnesota!” 

(where he didn't win),

saying, “If Trudeau 

wants to take issue,

say, 'Oh, Boo-hoo',

and hand him a tissue.

I 'll be back later 

to take Lake Huron.

So, Rex Tillerson, 

now who's the moron?

Ontario, Erie? 

Oh, what the hell?

While I'm here, 

I'll take them as well.

Part, now I think of it, 

of my grand design.

I mean, does Canada 

need all this shore line?

And, while I'm at it,

oh what the heck,

I'll take it all,

except Quebec,

which I'll extinguish

and make 'em speak English...

teach 'em t' tawk,

call it Noo Nort' Noo Yawk!”

No. CLXXVIII: Alternative Disaster

The time has arrived

to reassess:

Trump is not stupid.

He is possessed.

He spews opinions

from Satan's dominions

to excite and arouse

millions of minions —

his Twitter followers,

wannabes, wallowers.

No hope for redemption.

Too late to ask it.

We're bound for hell

in Donnie's hand basket.

Pray for salvation?

Salvation! Nonsense!

The consequence

would be President Pence.

Pence as president?

Spare me! Oh, please!

That cure is worse 
than this disease.

Philanderer or Puritan,
lewd or prude.
Every which way,
I'd say we're screwed.

No. CLXXVII: In Nomine Patris et Filii et Whatever Eric Is

A decade ago, Donald Trump Jr. told Forbes this story about his now-presidential father. "I'd be going to work with my dad when I was 5 or 6 years old...

"Besides telling me again and again not to drink, not to smoke and not to chase women, he always told me: 'Never trust anybody.' Then he'd ask me if I trusted anybody. I'd say, 'No.' 'Do you trust me?' he'd ask. I'd say, 'Yes.' "

"And he'd say: 'No! Don't even trust me!' "

— Forbes: Inside Trump’s Head: An Exclusive Interview With the President, And The Single Theory That Explains Everything

In Don Junior's youth
Donald Senior spoke truth:

“Listen, my boy,

let me put you wise.

Believe me, your daddy

was born to tell lies.

Over my heart,

when I undress,

Marla — MOM! — sees my tattoo:

BORN TO BE TRUTHLESS.”

The Father did, indeed, practice virtue,

no drinking, no smoking —

though there was pussy stroking.

Don Junior and Eric'll

still get hysterical

if you say their dad

is a tad of a cad.

Though lads so raised

could become cannibals.

DJ and Eric just

murder large animals.

No. CLXXVI.i: EXTRA! Much Ado About My IQ (a very best pome by Donald Trump, Sr.)

Trump uses his IQ like he uses his net worth: It’s always higher than you might assume and there’s no way to ever pin it down. — WaPo: A brief history of Trump challenging people to IQ tests (Paywall)

You wanna know

about my IQ?

Here's a clue.

My daughter's a Jew.

Jews are much smarter,

they know how to barter.

They've got a real feel

for the art of the deal.

But low IQ-types are not my nemesis.

I'm totally cozy with all white supremisists.

Success and IQ build self-esteem

like for me, Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein.

Basically being statistically “bright”

does not by itself make you always right.

Lots of smart mommies

were Nazis and Commies.

My IQ's a high number.

High is my goal.

You can't measure heart.

You can't measure soul.

I don't care for either

because I have neither.

No. CLXXVI: Gone Viral (Bacteria The Future?)

Our DNA contains roughly 100,000 pieces of viral DNA. Altogether, they make up about 8 percent of the human genome. — NYT: Ancient Viruses Are Buried in Your DNA (Paywall)

Our whole worldview is antibacterial. They’re out there. Shoot to kill. Build a wall! Which makes perfect sense for the tiny percentage of microbes that make us sick, but misses the vast majority that make us what we are. — NYT: Human Cells Make Up Only Half Our Bodies. A New Book Explains Why. (Paywall)

While these may be

fake news distorts,

what if there's something

to these reports?

If we contain multitudes,

some good, some bad...

they better speak ENGLISH,

I hasten to add.

If we're conglomerated

with oodles of “ick”...

Don't know about you?

Me, I feel sick.

Far be it from me

to make a big fuss

but this raises the question

are we really us?

With these different thingies

making us whole,

ya just gotta wonder

who's in control?

Could the free will

that defines you and me

be down to the whims

of an amoeboid committee?

No. CLXXV.i: EXTRA! Please Stand For Our National Tantrum

WASHINGTON — Senator Bob Corker, the Republican chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, charged in an interview on Sunday that President Trump was treating his office like “a reality show,” with reckless threats toward other countries that could set the nation “on the path to World War III.” — NYT: Bob Corker Says Trump’s Recklessness Threatens ‘World War III’ (Paywall)

Folks, I hafta tell ya,

ya gotta believe me,

my World War 3

will be the best war

you’ll never see.

Rocket Man wouldn’t dare
burst his bombs in our air

and when he does,

to show I don’t care

I’ll gallantly tweet
from my baby seat

as I’m whisked away

from nuclear heat.

Though our flag is in tatters

my hair will wave

over world misery

and Democracy's grave.

No. CLXXV: Pence Follows Orders

“I left today’s Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem.” — NYT: Trump Tells Pence to Leave N.F.L. Game as Players Kneel During Anthem (Paywall)

October 9, 2017

Dear NFL,

Please excuse my VP

who I told to flee

should he see

any player “taking a knee”.

I ordered Mike Pence

to maintain our pretense

this is NOT about 

lack of equality —

which actually

is fine by me.

I insist he persist

in the obvious lie

what these players object to

to mom's apply pie,

the Flag, Law and Order,

our wives and our daughters.

Our military!

They won't stand for our Anthem?

Believe me...I'll throw a tantrum.

Sincerely,

The President,

No. CLXXIV: The Week In Rear View

Monday, October 2

No.CLXIX: A One-percentish* Lament

To enjoy your life you have to be willing

to admit that your life is all about killing

Tuesday, October 3

No.CLXX: Don And Hugh

so much in common
have Hef and Donald

No.CLXX.i: EXTRA! GOP NON-responders

potential prey must kneel and pray

Wednesday, October 4

No.CLXXI: The Winner Of Our Discontent

we don't count diddly-squat

Thursday, October 5

No.CLXXII: News In Briefs

THE LUMP, flapping his jowls,

throws paper towels.

Friday, October 6

No. CLXIII: GOP Las Vegas Bullet Points

In wake of this tragedy,

we need a strategy.

No. CLXIII.i: EXTRA! Kamikaze (Calm Or Crazy)

Tillerson, Mattis, Mnuchin

hit on a solution...