Sunday, May 5, 2019

№ 587.2: EXTRA! Allons Enfants, Aux Barricades


French as It’s Now Really Spoken

An American in Paris discovers a language that’s part English, part African, part Arabic—and fully French


Éric Zemmour, a best-selling French writer and political commentator, wrote in Le Figaro last year that the “French language is a masterpiece in peril,” and that linguistic change is “set on destroying, one after the other, our secular institutions of French identity.”

Zet alors! Sacred blur!
Cette travestie cannot occur!
Nous ne permettrons jamais notre sacrée tongue
(ce qui est really vraiment bad latin)
to become une croissant q'un étranger shat on!
(This is how we distinguish
le français from English.)

[updated 5/6/2019, 10:06 p.m.]
[updated 5/5/2019, 10:00 p.m.]
[updated 5/5/2019, 4:48 p.m.]