Monday, January 14, 2019

№ 508: A Brexit State Of Mind

England is for the English,
not the Irish, the Scots or the Welsh.
It is not for bloody Cornishmen
nor for anyone else.
It was never for Cæsar's Legions,
who also were here long before
we Angles with a few Saxons*
conquered this stony sea shore
whilst speaking a sort of Danish
which no one here then understood
they read the blood on our swords to say
Vi planlægger at bo her for godt.
When some of our distant cousins
wanted to join in the fun
we were now proper Englishmen
so we fought them and easily won
after a few generations
but centuries before
Norwegian King Harald Hardrada
created a minor furore
when he invaded this green peaceful isle
and for his pains got himself killed
by our good King Harold Godwinson
who proved of the two the more skilled
then some three weeks thereafter
a hasty arrow pierced the royal eye
fired from the bow of a Norman Frog
causing our last real king to die.
This was a disaster heaven forfend
the Age of the Angles came to its end
our ancient order was overthrown
William the Bastard ascended the throne
our Dansk sprog was Frenchified  
unhappy happenstance. 
That is the real reason  
we true English hate France.

Yes, England must always be English
though it's not now and never was.
Not that these things really matter.
The truth in fact seldom does.
________
*Jutes, too. But the Jutes are traditionally ignored.