Wednesday, August 9, 2017

No. CXXVII: My Favorite Alternative Facts

(with further apologies to Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II)

Climate is cooling and Putin's a real pal.
I'm irresistible to any real gal.
There's something about me that always attracts.
These are my favorite alternative facts.

People like tawdry and golden and gaudy.
Melania loves it when I talk naughty.
I'm adored and respected by all "the blacks".
These are some other alternative facts.

My beauty pageants welcomed me backstage.
If you hear different, that is an outrage.
Bob Mueller can't look at my income tax.
These are still more alternative facts.

When the Times writes, I tweet "Relax!"
and I add, “So sad.”
I simply retweet these alternative facts
and then I don't feel so bad.