Friday, January 26, 2018

No. 257: Don't Feed THE LUMP

(with apologies to Alan Menkin and Howard Ashman)

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[Senator COLLINS]
Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed
Similar events in cities across America
Events which bore a striking resemblance
To the ones you have just seen began occurring

[Senators COLLINS, MANSHIN, HEITKAMP]
Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed
Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California
Made the acquaintance of a new breed of claptrap
And got sweet-talked into voting for TRUMP

Thus THE LUMP worked his terrible will
Finding jerks who believed in his swill
And THE LUMP proceeded to grow and grow
And began what he came here to do
Which was essentially to
Eat Cleveland 
And Des Moines
And Peoria 
And New York
AND WHERE YOU LIVE!

[CONGRESS]
He may promise to lower your tax
Build a wall and get regs off your backs
But whatever he promises
Don't feed THE LUMP

[DONALD Jr.]
He's the one who's fake and corrupt

[JARED]
Look how often he went bankrupt

[ERIC]
So whatever Dad offers you

[IVANKA]
Don't feed THE LUMP

[CONGRESS]
Look out! Donald's dad issues!
Look out!

[DONALD]
“Here I come for you!”

[DONALD Jr.]
“Here I come for you!”

[ERIC]
“Here I come for you!

[JARED, IVANKA]
“Here I come for you!

[CONGRESS]
Hold your hat and hang on to your soul
TRUMP is coming to eat the world whole
Amorphous enormous amoral HUMP
So whatever he offers you
When he appeals to pissed off in you
Please, whatever he offers you
Don't feed THE LUMP

[JARED, IVANKA]
Are we tomorrow?

[ALL]
Don't feed THE LUMP!