No. 255: Lessors Of Two Evils (at least)

We Evangelicals stand by our man.
Though he's a devil, he is God’s plan
and he is much, much better than
Hillary who is a woman.

We don't know that he's morally destitute.

That he screws porn stars. Perhaps prostitutes.

Anyways, we are sophisticates, not country rubes.

(Did y'all notice Stormy's magnificent boobs?)

As Christians we love our fellow men.
(If they’re not fags. Or Black. Or Mexican.
Or Mohammedan, as we usta say back in the day.)

We just wish 
ALL

non-straight,

non-Caucasian,

non-American,

non-Christian,
non-North European,

non-English speakers

would go

AND 
stay away.

(Please note: this does not make us racist.

Well, maybe a bit whacha call isolationist.)

God gives us the right to pick and to choose.
Some of our lawyers are Jewish Hebrews.
We're fervent pro-lifers, who've developed tactics
whereby we're allowed to collude with Catholics,
who we find real nice, actually swell.
It's a dang pity they’s goin' to hell.
(Where their damned popes and Jewish folks dwell.)

Since you ask, we'd likely, after debatin’,

support, vote for and abide with Satan.

If he was white we’d be convinced
he’d be on our side. 
(Y'all know, he's a prince!?)