№ 707: Donnie Mercury*

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AMONGTHERUINS (October 17)

(with apologies to Buck Ram)

I have never been a pretender (thank you, screw you)
I actually am doing well (thank you, screw you)
I am top notch, yes, you may touch my crotch
We all know I'm going to hell

No, I've never been a pretender (thank you, screw you)
There's nothing that I could not own (thank you, screw you)
I cheat, I lie and I alibi
and then I tweet on my phone

When real news claims that I am corrupt
I say it's FAKE! and my fans eat it up.
Okay, maybe I am a pretender (so what, who cares)
surrounded by even worse clowns (Rudy, Rudy)
I'm seen to be what I am (you see)
I wear a lamé dressing gown
I really do need a crown

Yeah-ah-ah-ah, wah-ha-ha-who
I'm such a heal that it can't be concealed
Okay, maybe I am a pretender
surrounded by even worse clowns (Rudy, Rudy)
I'm seen to be what I am (you see)
in my gold lamé dressing gown
I really do
I really do want a crown
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*Mercury: a Roman god of commerce, eloquence, travel, cunning, and theft who serves as messenger to the other gods — Merriam Webster