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(with apologies to Gilles Thibaut, Jacques Revaux and Paul Anka)
I know I am the best
of that I am dead certain
the truth has set me free
I could have tay-ken Liz from Burton
I am like unto a god
the paths I've trod would form a skyway
All else must be dismissed
there's only my way
Regrets, no not a one
except perhaps those FAKE NEWS liars
I wish I could extract
their finger nails with scalding pliers
It is my dream to hear them scream,
renounce the “facts” to which they'd hold me,
with im-peach-ment thus dismissed,
I would have my way
I learned from Corrupt Cohn, ya gotta keep on goin'
when cornered, double down with never weakness showin'
obfuscate, engender doubt,
that is what it's all about
stall, enthrall, appall
and that is my way
I've lied, I've bribed, I've tried
so many crimes I can't remember
and now my great backside
has subsumed my shrunken member
to think I did all that
and can walk Scot-free away
I say gleefully
I did it my way
For what is TRUMP, a bulging gut,
a balding Dunning Kruger nut,
a lout, a Scottish Kraut
who cares for no one else about,
a trope, a dupe, a dope
I did it my way
Whoops, I should say Vlad's way