№ 746: Britain Goes To The Dogs, Er, Polls

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LAND'S END (December 11)

(with apologies to E. Y. Harburg and Jay Gorney)

Boris says we are cream of the crop
and are not Euro yobs,
while Corbyn tells us put him on top,
fire capitalists and the nobs

Both parties offer ice cream and cake
saying they know THE way ahead
but whichever comes out on top
England will likely drop dead

Remember when we carried Thomas Cook
Travellers Cheques all world-round?
Today sterling begets bewildered looks, 
there's no one left respects the pound

Yesterday Britannia ruled the waves,
people found the pound sound
Tomorrow we'll be burning notes in caves
when no one will accept the pound

Now it seems as though England's under a spell
and will only further decline
And though it's deserved, it still hurts like hell
Our sun set, it doesn't shine

We can all remember when Frogs and Wogs
and Huns and Micks all bowed down
Today Kaffirs write award-winning books
but reject the prize when it's in pounds