Monday, June 15, 2020

№ 878: GOP Platform 2020 — secret at 'em dumb

DEEPEST GOP (June 14) —
What is the point of letting THEM vote
if THEY won't vote the right way.
Blah, blah, blah, “consent of the governed”,
democracy, in its place, is . . . okay.
We, THE ELITE, determine THAT place
which, prima facie, of course, ignores race
IF you sign on with our NEW GOP
and swear you favor theocracy,
marriage between a man and his wife,
(who must do what she’s told on pain of her life),
negative taxes to give businesses cash
(to bail them out when they cause a crash),
deregulating all business activity,
plus privatizing “Social Security”.
(Whereas, “personal hygiene” is a Federal affair,
abortion and “sex choice” fall under our care.)

Unions are, from now on, forbidden.
Except for collecting dues.
Which shall be given to us to assure
that these dues are wisely used.
In education, we'll protect our young ones
by arming their teachers with pistols and guns,
emphasizing the King James Version
(and taxing parents resisting conversion),
excising all mention of Darwin-like weirdos,
and renaming schools for Confederate heroes.

These are a few of the things we stand for.
We can check FOX and add a few more.
Our platform is in FOX's capable hands.
We await Rupert Murdoch's latest commands.