Monday, March 26, 2018

No. 298: Oh, Mueller, Where Is Thy Sting? (a very private GOP prayer)

(with apologies to Sting)

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Oh, the GOP's frantic with Trump perturbation
now that they learned he believes he's the nation.
Though surely they knew he brought with him baggage
they convinced themselves to embrace this sad marriage
to his incivility and lying, his want of ability 
there now is no way they can duck culpability.
And there's the fact staring them square in the face
that he's much more in favor than them with their base,
“Ah, but were are we goin'?” GOP leaders debate,
“We can not be losing, this can not be our fate.
We can't in the mid-terms let mere voters decide
since we know, of course, we've got God on our side.
There's our Evenjellyskulls, pro-life Catholics of Rome
a few mainstream Protestants and Jews still call us home.
Added to those, our you-can't-check-me gun sales.
(We count on gun makers' donations when all else fails. 
To be perfectly frank the party is always for sale.)
All we can do is hope Bob Mueller prevails
and that the NRA won't come up with his bail
when Trump goes to jail.
Oh, the clink of his chains
which will keep him from bimbos
will be sweet music to all of our ears.
His tariffs on steel
and his bluster will end when
Trump goes to jail.
And whatever we've promised, whatever we’ve done,
And whatever the station in life we’ve become,
We will say we don't consider him and us one — 
for the right sum we'd support Attila the Hun,
but that is not something we'll tell anyone — 
when Trump goes to jail.
Oh, the clink of his chains
which will keep him from bimbos
will be sweet music to all of our ears.
His tariffs on steel
and his bluster will end when
Trump goes to jail.
When Trump goes to jail!”