Monday, February 18, 2019

№ 533: Fact To The Future?

To celebrate the last Presidents' Day, The Daily Doggerel rented Doc Brown’s DeLorean for a trip to the year 2050. As it turns out, 2050 is not so very different from today. Hotter, of course. Florida and all the world’s coasts are under water. World population is estimated to be about one billion. (Hard to get a handle on that sort of thing since there are no longer any governments, though someone claiming to be a reincarnation of Mel Gibson is rumored to be working to restore order.) However, we were able to access Wikipedia which, strangely, has been rewritten in rhyme. (Something we started?) The following is Wikipedia’s summary of their article on Donald Trump.

Donald Trump was an Ivy League GENIUS,
he went to Wharton at Penn
which he chose over Harvard or Dartmouth,
Cornell, Columbia, Brown, Princeton, Yale when
he picked a college to teach him the knowledge
which, of course, he already knew
of how to succeed (spoilers: it’s greed
and cheating as Daddy Fred Trump taught him to).
Daddy Fred taught Donald to lie and to rob,
but his post-grad instruction was Roy Cohn’s job.

Roy Cohn, Esq., his adult mentor,
showed him the back door to power,
decades before he married Ivanka
whom he entombed in his tawdry tower.
Roy taught him to fight until he prevailed,
before dying of AIDS and thereby failed
to live to see his protégé nailed
by Robert Mueller, impeached and enjailed.