President’s ex-lawyer will tell House committee he witnessed Trump’s ‘lies, racism and cheating,’ role in hush payments, says a person familiar with his plans
“I’m going to let the American people decide exactly who’s telling the truth,” he said.
“I’m going to let the American people decide exactly who’s telling the truth,” he said.
EXCLUSIVE! Theatrical Cement Company (the parent company of THE DAILY DOGGEREL) has exclusively obtained the following exclusive advance copy of Michael Cohen's opening statement to House committee public hearing looking into whatever House committees look into in lieu of legislating. (God only knows what they do at the closed hearings.)
I am Michael Cohen. I was consigliere
to the
boss of La Cosa Trump,
who I will testify is truly scary
and who believed me his chump.
and who believed me his chump.
Mr. Trump does diddle
everyone, everything.
He IS into piddle. .
.
that Moscow thing?
I can't say what goes on
in the West Wing.
(Save for the slanders
of Huckabee Sanders.)
in the West Wing.
(Save for the slanders
of Huckabee Sanders.)
I have my
suspicions since he was so
keen
to dig up some dirt on Charlie Sheen
that he could hold over Martin, Sheen's father,
who he thinks was once president. (Why. DID. I. Bother?)
Mr. Trump lives in a realm of his own.
He's not of this world. Please, E.T., call him
home.