Thursday, March 1, 2018

No. 281.1: EXTRA! FBI Spokesperson On Fake Trump Nobel Nom

President Trump was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize this year — but by an apparently fraudulent submission that the FBI has been asked to investigate.
Unfortunately, after receiving the document,
our forensic team went home with the flu.
Therefore, we can't say when we'll get on to it,
but we'll let you know when we do.

Okay, okay, our prelim take:
it's a shoddy, poorly-done, obvious fake.
But by who?
There is no smoking gun.
Under blue light we do see what might be
greasy smudges from hamburger buns.
But I will swear we did not find there
the least trace of a strand of long golden hair.