Friday, March 27, 2020

№ 822.2: EXTRA! Declaration of Trump Ascendance

WITHOUT CONGRESS (March 27, 2020)
The calamitous Declaration of the TRUMPS of America, 

When in the Coarse of Donald Trump’s rants, 
it becomes necessary for some people to dissolve, 
to die, to return the earth, to separate 
themselves from those who may profit by their demise
(profit to which the Laws of Nature
and of Nature's God entitle them), 
a disrespect for the facts and opinions of mankind requires 
that they should declare the causes 
which impel them to facilitate such separation.

We hold truth to be irrelevant:
if all men of European ancestry are created equal
(with some more equal than others), 
if they are endowed by their Creator 
(who, despite geographic confusion was European)
with certain unalienable Rights, 
if among these are Life, Liberty 
and the pursuit of Happiness Profits.
— That to secure these rights, 
Governments are instituted among Men, 
deriving their just powers 
from the consent of the governing,
— That whenever any Form of Government 
becomes destructive of these Profits, 
it is the Right of the Richest  
to alter or to abolish it, 
and to institute new Government, 
laying its foundation on such non-principles 
and organizing its powers in such form, 
as to them shall seem most likely 
to effect their Safety and Happiness Profits.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate 
that Governments long established 
should not be changed for light and transient causes
(except when there’s money to be made);
and accordingly all experience hath shewn, 
that mankind are more disposed to suffer 
while evils are sufferable, 
than to right themselves 
by abolishing the forms 
to which they are accustomed.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
the pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
the insolence of office, and the spurns
that patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
when he himself might his quietus make
with a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
to grunt and sweat under a weary life,
but that the dread of something after death,
the undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
no traveller returns, puzzles the will,
and makes us rather bear those ills we have
than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus Donald dictates destruction for us all,
but since the Dow's up, who cares?